


Roommates

by angelheartbeat



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abusive Parents, Adoption, Alcohol, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, College AU, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Feels, Flirty Bill, Gay, Homophobia, Honestly I should chill, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, M/M, Mostly billdip, Physical Abuse, Roommates, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Teaching Bill to read, Trans Dipper, Trans Dipper Pines, Verbal Abuse, it can be fluffy okay, it's not as bad as it seems, shy Dipper, this sounds so bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheartbeat/pseuds/angelheartbeat
Summary: When the Pines twins arrive at college, everything starts to go to shit. They cant share a room, Dippers roommate is a bag of dicks, classes are impossible and there's enough drama to fill a whole season of reality TV.But not everything was bad. They both had tentative relationships, somewhat of a stable foundation, and personal drama enough to make any celebrity jealous - all you could ever want, really.





	1. New Home

**Author's Note:**

> Don't we all need more Billdip and Mabcifica in our lives? I know I do. 
> 
> So, this is a thing. I'm not sure where it's going to go or how often it'll be updated, but try and stick with it. I procrastinate a lot. 
> 
> The tags make this look really bad and they might get even worse but seriously it's not as bad as it seems I promise.  
> And the summary is so shitty ugh expect it to change once I get a better idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel and Dipper find their new homes, and unbeknownst to Dipper, his new roommate is already there..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gay is real.

"Wait, so we can't share a room after all?"

Mabel narrowed her eyes at her brother, who was chewing a pen nervously. The latter shook his head and suddenly burst the pen, ink splattering his face and clothes. 

"Ugh, not again..." Dipper complained, wiping it off the best he could. Black streaks and splodges stained his fingers and cheeks, not to mention one of his favourite shirts.

"You're avoiding the question, bro-bro."

"No, Mabel, we can't share a room. You know this. I told you when we got our acceptance letters. Hell, it was ON the letters."

Groaning, the female twin rolled her eyes. They were stood outside their new home, the dorms of Gravity Falls College, only built recently. Famous for high grades, academic brilliance, perfect test results - and parties. Mabel was only here for the last part, in all honesty. Dipper, on the other hand, was determined to get the best results he possibly could. 

"You know I didn't read those things," Mabel frowned, looking grumpy. After a couple of seconds she brightened up. "Oh well! I can meet a new friend! Make sure to call me every day and tell me EVERYTHING."

"Mabel, we'll be living about five minutes away from each other."

"Everything. Every. Day."

"Alright, alright, I will."

Dipper sighed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Noticing his worry, Mabel pulled off her lucky sweater that she wore especially for the first day of college and forced it over her twins head. 

"You need this more than me," she said, grinning.

"But... It's your lucky sweater!"

Mabel tapped Dipper on the nose, smiling and showing off her perfect teeth. Wearing braces all through her teens had actually done wonders. 

"I don't need luck, bro-bro. I have glitter."

And with that, she picked up her bags and pushed through the front doors of the dorms, leaving Dipper an ink-covered anxious mess outside. 

* * *

_345_

_346_

_347_

_348_

_349_

And here it was. Room 350, Dippers new home for the foreseeable future. Mabel was somewhere in the 200s, and he hoped that they were nearby. He missed her already. 

 _Okay, Dipper Pines, this is your big chance to make an impression. Don't blow it._ he told himself, taking a deep breath as he opened the door. 

It seemed relatively empty, until he looked around to the other side of the room and saw that his roommate had already set up and was sitting on his bed, reading. 

As Dipper dragged his bags into the room, covered in ink and cursing, a smirk began to grow on the others face.

"So, what happened?" he spoke up suddenly, smirking widely. 

Dipper turned around, taking a proper look at his roommate for the first time. His eyes widened slightly at the sight. 

Blond hair covered one of his eyes, shaved and brown on the other side. His eyes - or at least the exposed one - was almost golden, or at least it seemed that way to Dipper. For whatever mad reason, he was in a shirt and trousers with a thin black tie around his neck. 

"Uh... Uh... Uh..." Dipper stammered, amazed by his sheer attractiveness. More of his strangely sharp teeth were revealed as he smirked even wider, wider than Dipper thought possible.

"Let me guess, an ink pot hunted you down and attacked you?" 

"Uh, no, I, uh, exploded a p-pen.."

The blond nodded slowly and sarcastically, giving Dippers face enough time to flush bright red. 

_And you've already blown it. Well done, Dipper._

There were a few moments of awkward silence before the blond spoke up again. 

"So, what's your name, kid?"

Kid? 

_Kid?!_

"You're barely older than me, dude!" 

"So? I can call you kid if I want. It's a free country." Again with the insufferable smirk. Dipper sighed, resigning himself to a year with this guy.

"My names Dipper. Dipper Pines."

Another few moments of silence. 

"... That's a dumb name."

_Well, fuck you too, buddy._

"It's a nickname." Dipper explained patiently. His roommate sniffed dismissively.

"Still dumb. I don't wanna call you by a dumb nickname. How about... Pine Tree?"

"That's even dumber than Dipper."

"Hey. If I'm going to call you a dumb nickname, I want it to at least be one I made up myself."

That was  _really_ flawed logic. 

"Alright, fine. We've done me, what's your name?"

The blond stretched, getting off his bed and adjusting his tie, which Dipper was still confused about. He began to walk towards the brunet, and Dipper felt himself go redder.

"The names William. William Cipher. But you," he said flirtily, brushing a lock of hair from Dippers face, "can call me Bill."

And then he winked, and Dipper felt like he was melting into a puddle. 

"So, you know anyone here yet?" Bill asked brightly, returning to his bed and picking up his book again.

It took Dipper a couple of seconds to react, his mouth hanging open. 

"Oh, uh, no one really.." he finally replied, after getting his bearings. "You?"

"Who do you take me for, kid? I know everyone. Well, everyone fun."

"What do you count as fun?" Dipper asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

"You know. Smoking, drugs, alcohol, parties, stuff that anyone that isn't a total loser can enjoy."

Dipper didn't reply, realising EXACTLY what kind of person his new roommate was. Instead, he lugged his bag onto his bed and went to open it up. When he opened it, though, instead of his neatly folded clothes and textbooks, he found a mess of sweaters, glue, glitter and craft supplies. Checking the label frantically, he saw it read "Mabel Pines". Not Dipper. 

He  _knew_ it had been a bad idea for them both to have matching suitcases. Besides, hadn't Mabel adorned hers with stickers and glitter, right before they left? 

Unless that had been... 

"You have glitter on your face," Bill remarked from the other side of the room, helpfully. Dipper groaned. 

His roommate was an alcoholic druggie jerk, he was covered in ink and glitter, he was wearing his sisters sweater, he had her bags, his real bag was probably covered in stickers and glitter glue, and he couldn't even start studying for tests or even reading. 

This was going to be a long year. 


	2. Missing Glitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel discovers she has the wrong bags and decides to look through Dippers things before finally meeting her new roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try and kind of keep motivated by having at least one update each week, but I'm not sure how long I'll actually be able to keep up with that. 
> 
> But anyway, oh well. Time to go see Mabs! This fic is going to be switching between Mabcifica and Billdip, focusing a little more on Billdip.
> 
> Enjoy!

Mabel arrived at her room and skipped inside, throwing her glittery suitcase onto one of the beds (the one that looked comfiest). The room was empty and nothing had been put up yet, so she assumed she would have to wait to meet her roommate. 

Taking a deep breath, it suddenly hit her - she was at college. Dipper wasn't with her. She was a real, proper, adult. Anxiety overwhelmed her, mixed with confusion, because it was always Dipper that got anxious. Fear starting creeping over her. 

Some cookies would help with that. 

Unlocking her bag, she opened it up, expecting the customary greeting of a small glitter explosion. 

Instead she just smelt books. And not even romance novels. Boring, old textbooks. 

"What the hell?" Mabel muttered, grabbing the tag and instantly regretting decorating the case without checking the tag first. 

"Well what am I going to do  _now?_ " she moaned dramatically, throwing herself onto her bed. "I don't even have any glitter.  _Or_ my lucky sweater."

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she found Dipper's contact and pressed Call. It had barely rung once before Dipper picked up, sounding irritated.

"Do you have my bags, Mabel?" he asked, not even bothering with a greeting.

"Maaaaybeeee?"

On the other end, Dipper sighed. 

"I'll come over in a minute to get them. I need to clean myself up, first, thanks to your unnecessary amounts of glitter."

"They're perfectly necessary, DipDip."

"Maybe for you. See you in a minute, okay? And please, try and get as many decorations off my bags as you can."

There was a click, and Mabel took the phone away from her ear. Rolling over, she began looking through Dipper's things for something fun to do while she waited for him. 

Digging right to the bottom, her hands closed around a shape that was oddly familiar. Pulling it out from underneath Dipper's neatly folded clothes and the few boring books he couldn't fit into his rucksack, she was amazed to find that it was one of  _her_ romance novels. 

"So that's where 'Moonlight' went," she mused, flicking through the pages. It was unmistakeably hers, having been annotated in her colourful scrawl. 

Laying on her back, kicking her legs in the air, Mabel allowed herself to once again get sucked into the world of Moonlight. So when the knock on the door came, she barely heard it, and Dipper ended up having to open the door and come in himself. 

"Oh, it's you," Mabel said, rolling over again. 

"Yeah, I said I was coming to get my - hey! What are you doing going through my stuff?"

Dipper noticed the book Mabel was holding and went red, grabbing it away from her. She gave him a smirk, and he frowned.

"This isn't mine," he said, attempting to shove it back to the bottom of his bag. Mabel noted that he had left her bags by the door.

"I know," she replied, looking back at Dipper. "It's mine."

Dipper opened his mouth to reply and realised that he didn't have a proper argument, instead choosing to start angrily brushing glitter from his suitcase and rucksack.

"So, is your roommate in yet?" Mabel asked. Although she liked teasing her brother, the pure embarrassment on his face made her want to stop.

"Yeah, and he's an alcoholic party animal," Dipper lamented, swinging his backpack onto his shoulder. 

"Ooh, sounds fun!"

"Maybe for you, but I'm not so keen. We're here for a reason, Mabel, and it's not to party and do drugs. Which I know you're going to do."

"Don't tell Mom."

"Fine."

"But anyway, bro-bro, what's he like? Is he cute?"

Dipper sighed, turning it over in his mind. He supposed that Bill was kind of cute, despite being an unhelpful jerk.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Don't forget to give me details. I want every detail of every encounter with him you have."

"He's my roommate, Mabel. I'll lose my voice."

Shrugging, Mabel stood up and began gently pushing Dipper out of the room, pressing his suitcase into his arms.

"Anyway, I gotta get ready to meet my roommate, DipDip. You should go talk to yours, make a new friend, maybe even more than a friend, who knows?"

"Mabel, I'm not going to date my roommate."

"You never know where the future might lead. Anyway, enjoy the rest of Moonlight, I'm sure you'll really love the ending. Veeerry romantic~"

"Mabel."

"And you and your new lover can get up to some... things... and I'm sure you'll have loads of fun studying, ya nerd-"

" _Mabel._ "

"But I really gotta brush my hair and find a new sweater to wear since I gave you my lucky one - and now you've covered it in glitter, nice touch - so you should go-"

"MABEL!"

"Yes?"

Dipper stood in the doorway, clutching his bags with Mabel blabbering in his ear and gently pushing his shoulders. 

"I was gonna leave anyway. See ya, sis. I hope meeting your roommate goes well. Good luck. "

"Aww, thanks, bro-bro! But, like I always say - I don't need luck-"

"I have glitter, yes, I know. Have fun then."

Mabel pressed a kiss to Dippers cheek like she often did to say goodbye, and Dipper turned around to leave. 

Before he could make it much further down the corridor, though, a blonde girl with several people looking almost like servants, laden with bags, came sauntering down the corridor. She shoved past Dipper, almost causing him to trip, and walked into the door of Mabel's room, pushing her out of the way. Her servants dumped her bags in the doorway, and she stood there, looking like she owned the place. Which, judging by her clothes, she probably did. 

"Are  _you_ my roommate?" she asked, looking Mabel up and down disgustedly. 

"Yup! Mabel Pines, nice to meet you!"

The girl held her hand out reluctantly, but Mabel instead jumped forward and wrapped her arms around her. 

"What the hell are you doing?! Get off me, loser!" she squealed, and shoved Mabel off harshly. "I'm Pacifica Northwest. My father owns the mansion in Gravity Falls. And we don't appreciate hugs from... sparkly ugly-clothed losers."

Mabel's face fell, and she walked to the pile of suitcases - under which were her bags, somewhere. 

"Don't touch those," Pacifica whined. "They're probably worth more than your entire house."

Ignoring her, Mabel dug out her suitcase and rucksack, which were miserably plain. Perfectly matching her current mood, then. Throwing them onto her bed, she unclipped them and didn't even react to the glitter explosion in her face. Instead she simply dug out a sweater and pulled it on, dragging several others out and beginning to dejectedly push them back into the case. 

"Are those hand-knitted?" came from the other side of the room, accompanied by a giggle and a dismissive wave, before the last remaining servants left.

"Yeah, why?" Mabel replied. At least she could try and be friends with this snobbish bitch, right?

"That's adorable. You must be so proud. I would too, having created something that ugly!"

_Wrong._

Forcing a smile onto her face, Mabel turned to face Pacifica. 

"Look, I want to be friends with you, okay?"

"Of course you do. I'm probably the richest girl in Oregon."

"No, because I like being friends with people. So, if I promise to keep my glitter and... adorable knitted sweaters on my side of the room, and you don't make snide comments about me or anyone else, we can be friends."

"Whatever."

Realising she wasn't going to get anywhere, Mabel sighed and threw herself back onto her bed, thinking that Dipper must be having a much better time than her. He had Moonlight, a cute promising roommate, actual brains so he could stay in college, and she was stuck with a snobby bitch, much inferior romance novels, and parties. 

 _Oh, fuck this,_ she thought, as she heard Pacifica starting to shift her bags and complaining about having to do it herself. Closing her eyes, Mabel decided that her daydream world of Mabeland was a much better place to be than here, and it wasn't long before daydream turned into real dream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell, I'm trying to bulk this out a bit more with side plots and all that kind of thing, so it's not just one linear thing with no deviations. I'm hoping that's gonna work, fingers crossed!


	3. Time Until Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper realises just how long he has to wait for classes to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh boy I can't wait to get more into this. I've written myself a list of plot points and MAN I'm excited (especially for when the fic gets near Christmas). 
> 
> But I gotta bulk out the story first, so I'll have to wait for the plot points. And so will you! 
> 
> I should also mention I haven't been to American college. I'm like 14. And British. So if there's any points that you think are incorrect or don't fit with a regular college, feel free to let me know and I can change them.
> 
> and yes I know it's been forever please dont judge me im an innocent child

Having arrived several weeks before classes began, Dipper realised just how little he had to do before he could get down to studying for classes and tests. He had his books, even the romance ones (courtesy of Mabel), but he read so quickly that they would be done within days. Mabel was, somehow, already going to parties almost daily, and constantly avoided her dorm room. Dipper suspected this was because of her bitchy roommate he'd gotten so many phone calls about. 

So he, reluctantly, turned to the last option he had available. Talking to his jerk of a roommate. 

 "Bill?"

His backpack dropped onto the floor as he walked in, returning from the cafeteria and looking around curiously. There seemed to be no trace of his roommate, except for a slightly rumpled duvet and his book, lying face down with the spine bending. Dipper tutted and walked over, picking up the book and carefully smoothing out the spine and cover, before finding a small bit of paper to act as a bookmark.

Placing it onto Bills bedside table, he sighed and began to straighten out his duvet. There was a lingering scent of Bills aftershave, and a less prominent natural smell. Looking around cautiously, Dipper leaned down and pressed the duvet against his nose, inhaling deeply. The smell flooded his nostrils, and he smiled, feeling somehow more relaxed. 

_I don't have a thing for him, I don't have a thing for him..._

"You're so into me."

Shocked, Dipper whirled round, dropping the duvet. Bill was emerging from the bathroom, looking pale and drawn out. For a second, Dipper could have sworn he saw the shadow of tear tracks down Bills cheek, but then it was gone. 

"B-Bill! I thought you were out!" the smaller man stuttered, quickly smoothing Bills bed and stepping away. The blonde started walking towards his bed, pulling his jacket sleeves further down his wrists. 

"So you decided to sniff my bedding, hm?" he joked, picking up his book and inspecting it.

"W-well... I..."

 Bill didn't reply. He was staring at the bit of paper Dipper had used as a bookmark, eyes narrowed. As Dipper stammered, he pulled it out of the book, not caring about his place, and waved it a little. 

"Did you read this?" he asked harshly, interrupting Dipper's stuttering apologies. 

"Um.. No?"

Bill's one showing eye flitted around cautiously, disbelieving. 

"I honestly didn-"

"Fine, I believe you." Bill said, a slight crack in his voice. That was when Dipper noticed the scrawled handwriting on it, before Bill crushed it in his fist. 

"What was it, anyway?" Dipper braved asking, tilting his head slightly. Bill turned away and took a deep breath, composing himself. He spun around again, forcing a smile. 

"Nothing you need to worry about, Pine Tree." 

He gave Dipper a slight flick on the nose, before throwing his book back onto his bed and flopping on after it. Dipper stood there awkwardly, biting his nails, until Bill waved him away casually. 

Sitting back down on his bed, Dipper pulled out his bedazzled suitcase and pulled out a book as well, not letting Bill see the cover. It was one of his romance novels, and if Bill saw those... 

There was companionable silence for a few minutes, as the two read. 

"You know, I'm surprised someone like you even reads books." Dipper said, breaking the silence. Bill was quiet, and the younger man worried he'd said something out of turn. 

"Yeah, well, there's a lot of things about me you'd be surprised about." Bill replied finally, and his words carried some kind of weight that Dipper couldn't quite place. 

"Is that so?" Dipper joked, turning over to look at Bill. He was facing the opposite way, so he couldn't see his face, but he made a small strangled noise in his throat.

"Bill?"

"Yeah, yeah.." 

Dipper watched as Bill turned over to face him, smiling weakly. 

"Yeah, that is so," he said, his voice cracking a little. He smirked, and even with Bills weak voice and strange behaviour, Dipper found himself blushing a little. 

There was silence for a couple of seconds, as the two stared at each other. 

"What do you look like with your other eye uncovered by your hair? I've never seen you without it covered." Dipper asked suddenly, and Bill blinked. 

"Are we playing twenty questions now, or what?" he replied jokily, but swept his hair aside. Dipper was taken aback. 

While he had assumed both of Bill's eyes were that piercing golden hue, the covered one was pure black. No iris, or at least it seemed that way. Just the whites of his eyes, and then blackness. 

There was a sharp intake of breath from Dipper's side of the room, and Bill smirked, letting his hair drape over his eye again. 

"So, my turn. I dare you to-"

"Hey, hey, wait! I thought this was twenty questions?"

"You've already had your question, Pine Tree. Besides, life is whatever you make it." Bill winked mysteriously, and Dipper felt himself flush red. 

"Well, if we're going to play truth or dare, you have to at least ask me for truth or dare!"

Bill pouted and sat up, tossing his book aside. Dipper did the same, minus the pout. 

"But you'll just be boorriiingg and choose truuuuth." he whined, and Dipper frowned in indignation. 

"How do you know?" he challenged, although his heart was racing. 

"Alright then, kiddo. Truth or dare?"

Dipper took a deep breath. "Dare."

Bill's smirk reappeared. "I dare you to... kiss me."

Dippers jaw dropped. 

"I can't do that!"

But before he could say any more, Bill was bursting out in laughter. Sitting there, Dipper went bright red and stared at the floor. 

"Oh, you should have seen your face." Bill said, recovering himself and wiping a tear from his eye. "You can go first, anyway. I need to think of something good."

"Uh... Okay... Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Bill replied, confidently smirking again. 

"Now who's the boring one..." muttered Dipper, and Bill's smirk grew even wider. 

There was a moment of thought, until Dipper decided to brave his first choice. 

"What was on that paper?"

The friendly aura dissipated, and Bill scowled. 

"Pass. I'll choose dare instead." he growled, glaring at Dipper, who stared at the floor. 

"Oh. Alright. Uh... I dare YOU to kiss ME."

The cold aura continued, as Bill slowly stood up, and stalked over to Dipper, who immediately turned bright red and widened his eyes. 

Leaning in, Bill took Dipper by the chin, as he stuttered softly. He leaned even closer, until their soft lips touched, and kissed him once, gently, and then again, harsher. Pulling away, Bill looked into Dipper's eyes, and spoke, in a harsh, growling voice. 

"Don't ask questions you aren't prepared to know the answers to."

And with that, he dropped Dipper's chin, and walked out, slamming the dorm door behind him. Dipper was left sitting on his bed, blinking and trying to process what had just happened. 

_Fuck. Maybe I DO have a thing for him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boi, that was great. But what's on the paper? What was Bill doing in the bathroom? Find out next time on Keeping Up With The Fucking Gays. 
> 
> I'm hoping to be more organised with my schedule, but I'm a rat and procrastinate life so dont get your hopes too high. Just watch this space, and I'll hopefully upload soon!


	4. Rich Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel whines about Paz, and Dipper finds himself teaching someone something he never thought he would have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know my update schedule is shitty  
> I have no inspiration rn! I need to get this fic going and then hopefully updates will be more frequent ehe
> 
> God, it's all over the place so far in the plot, though. Loose ends will be tied together! Eventually! I promise! 
> 
> And yes, a kiss in the third chapter may be moving too fast. Do I regret it? Not at all.

"And she only cares about clothes and shoes and- Ugh, she's such a... rich bitch."

Mabel was flopped across her bed, knitting idly with her phone on her chest, set to speaker so she could hear her brothers tired voice. 

_"Mhm."_

"Dip? What's wrong?"

_"Hm? Oh, nothing, just... I'm gonna come over instead, that okay?"_

"Yeah..?"

_"Cool. See you in a few."_

There was a beep as Dipper hung up, and Mabel sat up slowly. Her phone slid off her chest, and she put down her knitting, frowning. Had her complaining gotten to Dipper? 

Just as she started to get anxious, there was a knock and Dipper pushed the door open. 

"Hey," Mabel said, relieved. "Why'd you hang up?"

"Bill came back," replied her twin, making a face. Mabel made the same face sympathetically, but she felt a twinge of jealousy. She was a social girl, having already made many friends, and from what she had heard of Bill... He was just the kind of guy she liked. 

"But yeah, anyway, as I was saying, she's such a little hoe! She's so materialistic..."

In Dipper's ears, the complaints faded away. He was thinking about the glimpses he had caught of Pacifica Northwest, and how she wasn't bad to look at. In fact, she was even pretty. He didn't know anything about her personality, but if looks were anything to go by-

"Dipper, are you listening?"

The irritated voice broke through his inner monologue, which was possibly a good thing. 

_One possible crush is enough to be dealing with, Dipper Pines. Dont make life harder for yourself._

"Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah." he replied distractedly, frowning. Mabel rolled her eyes and gently kicked him, which prompted him to stop standing awkwardly and sit down next to her instead. 

"She's just so... Ugh."

"You like her."

The words were completely unprompted, and the second they were out of Dipper's mouth he regretted them. If anything, he was the one who liked her. Oh god, Mabel was the one who was meant to be sappy and romantic and all 'love at first sight', not him! 

"No I don't!" Mabel replied, a little too quickly. The shadow of a blush crossed her cheeks, and Dipper smiled a little at her embarrassment. 

"You so do."

"No I-"

At that moment, the door opened. The blonde rich bitch in question walked through, narrowing her eyes at the pair. She immediately stalked to her side of the room, not bothering to shut the door, and lay down. She put in headphones, slowly and deliberately, before turning on some kind of inaudible music. 

Dipper sighed, realising that now she was back, he had already overstayed his welcome. He stood up, stretching, and turning to look at Mabel, expecting her to come with him. Considering how often she tried to avoid her roommate, it seemed like the natural response. 

"I'll stay," Mabel said simply, watching Pacifica as she lay, nodding her head slightly to a silent beat.

"Suit yourself." Dipper shrugged, and turned to go. As he pulled the door open further, his eyes wandered towards Pacifica, to take in her beauty. They lingered over her face, until her blue eyes snapped to meet his, and he turned bright red, leaving as fast as possible. 

Then, it was just Mabel and Pacifica. 

There was some awkward silence, as Pacifica's music started to leak out of her headphones and make it's way to Mabel's side of the room. 

"Can I call you Paz?" Mabel spoke suddenly, almost kicking herself afterwards. Of course she couldn't, that was so stu-

"Excuse me?" Pacifica sat up, pulling out her headphones. She swung her legs around, and sat on the side of her bed, looking at Mabel.

"Can I call you Paz?"

_Dont repeat it!_

There was a breath of silence, as Mabel's heart beat out of her chest, before Pacifica started to laugh. Her laugh was almost musical, and Mabel held her breath, unsure if it was a good thing or not. 

"You're ridiculous. Sure." said the blonde, before laying down again. The brunette sat there, considering Paz's tone. Sure, it had been mean, but could there possibly have been a touch of affection...? 

With a smile, Mabel lay down and picked up a book from her bedside table, opening it and reading to the beat of the music from Pacifica's headphones. 

* * *

Dipper sighed as he pushed open the door to his room. Like Mabel, he would do everything he could to try and stay away from his roommate, but the guy always seemed to reappear right at the worst times. Like now, as he stretched languidly across his bed, reading a book as usual. 

They had barely spoken since the game of truth or dare, Dipper not daring to and Bill.. Well, he wasn't exactly sure why Bill hadn't said anything. Perhaps he was thinking things over. 

They didn't even look at each other as Dipper walked across the room to lie on his bed. 

The second he lay down, his mind started spinning and his heart started racing. If what he felt as he looked at Pacifica was anything to go by, he now not only had a crush on his own roommate, but  _Mabel's_ as well. 

_Way to go, Dipper Pines._

He tried to sooth his rushing thoughts by thinking of lessons. The crinkle of paper, fresh textbooks... The scratch of a pen as he took down notes... The-

"Pine Tree."

Dipper almost jumped out of his skin. Bill was standing right next to his bed, having somehow crept over as he thought.

"What the hell do you want? You almost gave me a heart attack, asshole!" Dipper almost yelled, before calming down a little. His blonde jerk of a roommate chuckled. 

"I wanted to know where you had gone."

"And you couldn't ask me that as I walked in, like any normal person?"

Bill chuckled again. 

"No."

Rolling his eyes, Dipper sat up. It was a little awkward to have Bill leaning over him as he lay like that. 

"Why'd you want to know anyway?" the brunet asked cautiously before replying. Bill merely shrugged, and Dipper could see he wasn't in the mood to explain himself. Might as well just tell him. 

"I went to my sisters dorm room. She was complaining about her roommate."

"You have a sister?" The tone of surprise in Bills voice caught Dipper off guard. He wouldn't have thought the asshole could get thrown off by anything. 

"Yeah. We're twins. She's called Mabel, a little taller than me. Likes to party."

"And who's her roommate?"

"Look, man, why are you so interested anyway?"

"Answer the question, Pine Tree."

Dipper sighed, annoyed, and made a deliberate point to wait a few seconds before answering. Bills hand began to twitch after a while, which the brunet saw as a warning sign to answer the fuckin question. "Pacifica Northwest. She's supposedly a cold hearted asshole, and yeah, she did push me over when I first met her, but she's gorgeous. Like, supermodel beautiful."

A beat of silence, during which Bill's eye almost looked like it was twitching. But that was ridiculous. 

"Do you like her?" the blonde finally asked, and Dipper thought that out of the corner of his eye, he saw his fist clenching? 

"What's it to you?"

Bill shrugged, wheeling round and stalking back to his side of the room. Somehow he had seen that he wasn't going to push an answer out of his pine tree. 

They both sat for a while, neither of them saying a word. 

"Why are you so.." The brunet trailed off, causing Bill's eyes to look at him interestedly. 

"Why am I so what, kid?"

"I don't know. There's too many ways to finish that sentence. Why are you so unpredictable, so much of a jerk, so interested in what I do, so different-"

"Good different or bad different?"

Dipper rolled his eyes. Wow, cliché much? 

"Both?"

He inwardly scowled. Like it wasn't cliché enough. 

"Do you like me more than Pacifica?"

There was anger laced into his words, especially as he said the word Pacifica, like he had to almost spit it out of his mouth. 

"I don't like you."

"Bullshit."

"You're bullshit."

The room returned to silence. Dipper was now slowly seething with anger. How dare this jerk of a blonde, with his mismatched eyes and formal fashion taste, get angry at him for developing a crush? 

_No, no, you haven't developed a crush, you can just appreciate when someone is pretty._

He couldn't believe he had a whole year to look forward to with this guy. 

_Maybe Mabel will trade with me. Or maybe we can room together and the two blonde assholes can talk about their pretty shoes._

_Dickheads. I don't like either of them._

"Just keep telling yourself that," came a mumble from the other side of the room. Dipper froze, terrified. Had he spoken out loud? But when he glanced over, he couldn't see a trace of a smirk on Bill's face. The sentence appeared to have been entirely random, and unprompted by Bill himself, as he was busy reading. 

Wait a second. Had he been reading out loud? 

"Can I look at that book a moment?"

Bill glanced up and raised an eyebrow, but passed the book to Dipper. 

"Don't lose my place."

Dipper nodded in agreement and looked at the page Bill had his eyes on. The first thing he noticed was how big the writing was. And then, like he thought, he spotted the sentence  _just keep telling yourself that._

"Bill, how well can you read?"

The question seemed totally random, as the book was passed back. The blonde felt his face heat up, and covered it with the book. 

"I can read perfectly well, thank you," he snapped, but it wasn't very intimidating when all Dipper could see was his eyes and forehead. 

"Oh, really?"

Jumping up, Dipper walked over to his side, and pulled out his suitcase, picking the thickest textbook with the smallest writing he owned. Grinning, he walked back and opened it at a random page, laying it on Bill's lap and watching as his eyes widened fearfully. 

"Read a sentence of this. In your head or out loud. It's on the history of Britain, and this section is specifically on the second world war."

"I knew that," Bill snapped, putting a finger onto the first word of the first sentence he saw. 

Dipper watched as he moved his finger across the words, slowly and laboriously muttering them out loud to try and make sense of them. He frowned in his frustration, and as he read his tongue poked out of his mouth a little, when he wasn't mumbling the words. Dipper had to admit, it was rather cute. 

Eventually, he completed the sentence, and looked up at Dipper triumphantly. "There!"

"You can't read."

"I just proved that I could!"

"Alright then, you can hardly read."

Bill stuck his tongue out like a stroppy child before folding his arms, and Dipper giggled. "It's okay, Bill, I can teach you. If you want, that is."

"Whatever."

Dipper took that as an invitation, and sat down next to Bill. "You know, it's fine that you don't know how to read. Lots of people don't."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, kid."

"Actually, wait there a second. I'll get something more interesting."

Once again, the brunet crossed the room, and this time picked out a spy novel. Sitting back down next to Bill, he was surprised when the blonde scooted closer to him. 

"Okay, so. We start here," Dipper pointed to the first word in the book. "There-"

"You dont have to patronise me, Pine Tree. Just read. I'll follow along."

Dipper shrugged. "Suit yourself." He didn't complain, though, and started to read the book aloud, at a pace that was easy to follow but not patronising. He didn't fully understand how this would teach Bill to read, but then all of a sudden the blonde's head leant on Dipper's shoulder. He faltered for a second, before Bill signalled him to continue. 

Oh, fuck it. If it meant they could keep this comfortable, affectionate position, who cared. 

He started to read more excitedly, adding intonations into his voice and putting on voices for characters. Bill chuckled where it was appropriate, and it didn't take long for Dipper to notice his eyes were closed. 

So the two of them remained basically cuddled up to each other, and didn't even notice the time until Dipper had finished the book. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that cute? Hopefully in the next few chapters things will start to become more streamlined. I know the first few were a bit haphazard, but if you've worked through them and made it this far, welcome! Soon you'll be able to stop trying to understand all the jumping plot bc I'll actually work stuff out! :0 
> 
> Okay, I'll stop rambling, hehe. But yeah, plot should get more on track, and I hope y'all enjoyed reading about my favourite gays.


	5. Classes Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting the night before classes begin. Dipper starts to discover things he's fairly sure he wasn't meant to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idrk what kind of a schedule to keep bc either I post like 3 times in a week or I don't update for months. I'm fairly sure you'd prefer 3 times a week but I could be massively wrong.
> 
> Enjoy the Gays.

Dipper sat on his bed, preparing everything for his big day the next morning. This was what he had been waiting for since he arrived. Finally, he could put all this stupid crush business out of his mind, and fill it with facts instead. 

Sighing contentedly as he packed his bags with pens, notebooks, everything he would need, Dipper glanced idly at Bill's side of the bed, and felt a twinge of disappointment when he remembered the blonde had left earlier that afternoon, to 'run some errands'. 

_No, don't be disappointed. You dont miss him._

Just as Bill popped into his head, with his supposed good looks, the real Bill charged through the door before slamming it shut, his breathing ragged. 

"Bill?!" Dipper frowned, alarmed. The blonde looked over his shoulder at the door, before turning around so he could keep facing it and slowly backing away, almost tripping. 

"Hey there, Pine Tree," he eventually said, as an afterthought. The pine tree in question simply frowned further and returned to packing his bags, deciding there was no point in questioning his roommates odd behaviour. It was almost like he was being chased by something. 

After a while, Bill seemed to calm down, sitting down on his bed. He kicked at the air gently, before grabbing a piece of paper on his bedside table and reading it, reading and rereading and reading again. Anxiety clouded his face. 

"Bill? Are you alright?" Dipper decided to cautiously ask, which made Bill almost snap out of a daze. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, kid. I'm not in a chatty mood." the latter snapped, making the brunet blush angrily. 

"Suit yourself."

They fell into a tense silence, each of them trying to gauge when the other would speak. The tension started to become unbearable, and Dipper was considering speaking, when Bill broke the silence with a perfectly casual question. 

"What's your major?"

"I... Uh.. Journalism."

There were a few more seconds of silence, but the moment had been defused. Neither of them were threatening to explode with anger. 

"What's yours?"

"... Musical theatre."

That surprised Dipper. Of all the people he had expected to major in musical theatre, Bill would be the last he would think of. 

"Didn't have you down as much of an actor."

"Yeah, well, since I can't read," and Dipper could hear the malice in his voice, which stung just a little. He had thought that Bill enjoyed him reading to him, but maybe he had been mistaken? "It's one of the few things I could take."

And under his breath, Dipper could've sworn he heard him mutter that it doesn't make much money. 

The brunet cautiously continued packing his bag, wary of speaking and setting off Bill. He had spent enough time with Mabel to know when someone was likely to explode with anger- or, in Mabel's case, excitement. 

Eventually there was absolutely nothing else he could do with his bag, and he zipped it up slowly, unable to procrastinate speaking any longer. 

"Bill-"

"The fuck do you want?!"

_Called it._

"I just.. Weren't we friends when I was reading you that book?" Realising how childish he sounded, the younger man tried to correct his mistake, but immediately regretted it as more and more words spilled out his mouth. "I mean, like, you seemed pretty comfortable, and it didn't seem like we were  _enemies_ , but you've been quite distant since and I'm not sure if I-"

"Shut up."

"P-pardon?"

"Shut the fuck up," Bill snarled, glaring at Dipper. His fists were clenched, and he looked like he was ready to punch something. Dipper quickly shut his mouth, sweating nervously. It wasn't long before curiosity got the better of him, though. 

"What's gotten into you?" he asked bravely. Bill's knuckles looked like they were about to rip through his skin, but he answered calmly anyway.

"None of your business."

The tension returned, and Dipper suddenly found that he was getting angry too. "Look, dude, I'm trying to help you. If you won't let me help you with shit, it's going to be a very long year."

"You wouldn't get this shit."

Again, Dipper heard him mutter under his breath.  _Rich city boy._

"What is WRONG with you?! At least give me a chance!"

At this point, they had both stood up, fists clenched. Trying not to appear intimidated, Dipper noted once again just how much smaller than Bill he really was. 

"Don't even try it, kiddo. I don't need your help."

"You haven't even given it a chance!"

They started walking towards each other, both of them seething with furious energy. Somewhere in his mind, Dipper realised this was probably the kind of moment Mabel meant when she talked about sexual tension. Of course, this was hardly the time to be thinking about Bill that way. But any second now, he would find himself swept into an angry kiss, when their rushing emotions just couldn't control themselves any longer... Maybe he had read too many romance novels, and maybe Mabel was a bad influence, but in just a few moments they would be furiously making out-

Instead, Dipper felt Bill's fist connect with his face. 

The punch was fast, but had struck with all of Bill's power, which for a skinny guy was an alarming amount. Dipper almost collapsed to the floor, his hands cupped over his nose, but stayed standing, glaring at Bill. 

"Don't try and act like you know what I'm dealing with, kid. Don't forget who YOU'RE dealing with."

And with that, he whipped back around, grabbed the paper from his bed, and immediately rushed out. 

Why was Dipper getting a sense of déjà vu? Only instead of being left with the floaty sensation of just having been kissed, he was left with the stinging pain of a possibly broken nose, not to mention the wounds to his pride. 

At least he had classes to look forward to.

* * *

In the morning, Dipper awoke to the incessant beeping of his alarm. Immediately he sat up, buzzing with excitement, and turned it off before jumping out of bed. 

His eyes strayed to Bill's side of the room, where he saw the blonde sleeping fitfully. He guessed that he must have snuck back in at some point, as when he went to bed near midnight, there had been no sign of him.

A sharp pain went through his nose, as if in protest to the thought of Bill. He pressed his fingers to it, wincing, and scowled at the sleeping figure. 

_Why is he always so damn unpredictable?_

With a sigh, the brunet decided to just get on with it. As he stood in the shower, his racing thoughts calmed themselves as they always did, and he got out, sighing calmly. 

As he went to brush his teeth and wash his face, he noticed Bill had left some things out on the side. Scowling, he started to put them away, until he noticed yet another of the bits of paper he always saw Bill reading. 

Looking around, checking that he was alone, he picked up the paper and tried to decipher the scrawled handwriting. 

**Stop fucking trying to get with us again. You failed, loser. Fuck off or we'll kill you, and anyone else you've found that cares about you or that you care about.**

**-You Know Who.**

The threatening words sent a chill down Dippers spine, and he quickly placed the paper back on the counter, attempting to make it look how it did before he got there. His worry only increased when he spotted a few razor blades scattered by the paper. 

_Is he okay?_

The thought was out of nowhere. He shouldn't be this worried about someone who punched him in the face and clearly couldn't care less about his feelings. 

But as he gathered his things, dressed quickly, threw his bag onto his back and cast one last glance towards the restless sleeping figure, the question wouldn't stop repeating in his mind. 

And he had an awful feeling he knew what the answer was. 

_No._

* * *

Luckily, as Dipper started the walk towards the main building from the dorm building, thoughts of his mysterious roommate were replaced with comforting thoughts of lessons. 

He forgot all about where Bill was. If he had given it some thought, he would probably have assumed he was back in the dorm room, but who knew? 

All the brunet cared about at that moment was getting to school and learning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been getting one of my best friends advice on this fic and tbh I think theyre helping a lot I wouldn't have the first clue where to start without them so I guess this is kinda dedicated to Tea bc ily
> 
> Dont ask why Bill is majoring in musical theatre bc I dont actually know myself it just kind of fit his jazzy personality but fuck idk  
> Dippers in journalism bc subtle hints to the show amiright
> 
> Also this was kind of angst and feels but hey ho that's what I'm good at


	6. His Pine Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 kudos already! Aha I love you guys I dont deserve this <3
> 
> Also I'm honestly regretting putting Mab and Paz in this! Aaghh I don't know how to write for them I'm so awkward >~<  
> I'll try and think of something hah  
> But for now, to find out what Bill was doing the night before lessons!

Bill took a deep breath. 

"Kid, what are you doing to me?" he muttered, staring up at the sky. There was silence around him, which wasn't surprising, considering he was sitting a long way away from any buildings, and it was near midnight. 

A chill ran down his spine. If his old... friends... got wind that he had found someone he even thought about positively... 

No, he couldn't let them know. Which meant  -and it sent a cold wave of fear through him - Dipper couldn't know either. 

_There's nothing to know._

Yes, that was a good thought. Nothing to know. Then there was nothing for his pine tree to find out, and nothing that  _they_ could get at him for. 

Man, he really had to stop staying up late. He always got so emotional and stressed. 

With a scowl, he stood up and stretched, glancing at his forearm and sighing as he pulled his sleeve over it. He had his first lesson of the year in the morning, and he shouldn't keep thinking about his regrets. 

"Pine tree, pine tree, pine tree..." he whispered, looking up at the stars in the sky. There was a moment, as his eyes moved, until they found the Big Dipper. 

Why was that particular constellation sticking out to him?

_Why do I even need to ask that question?_

Drawing in a long, shaky breath, he began to walk back to the dorms. His mind wouldn't stop turning until he pushed open the door to his room. 

A soft smile crossed his lips as he saw Dipper lying in bed, breathing gently. The younger man looked so much calmer when he was asleep, as though all his worries were pulled away. 

"I'm sorry, kid." he mumbled, walking across and kneeling by Dipper's bed. Finding the brunets hand, he picked it up and held it in both of his, bringing it to his lips and pressing one kiss to it. 

"I just... There's a lot of things I can't really... explain to you. Especially when you're awake. Which means I fall to when you're sleeping and I'm full of emotion and..." the blonde trailed off and chuckled lowly, dropping Dippers hand and bowing his head. 

His gaze trailed to his bedside table, where he knew another of the notes was waiting. With shaking legs, he stood up and read it, absentmindedly walking into the bathroom.

Tossing aside the threat, Bill stared into the mirror, before ripping the cabinet open and pulling out his razor blades, spilling them across the sink. But just as he was about to grab one, something in his heart stopped him. 

_Is this what your pine tree would want?_

"Who cares," he muttered. "It's what I want."

And yet, he didn't reach for the blades again. He simply left them scattered across these side, along with the letter, hoping he could wake up early enough to clear them before Dipper discovered them. 

Stumbling out into the room again, the blonde cast a glance at Dipper. The brunet had turned over, and was frowning, as though worried. The look on his face almost physically pained Bill, and he made his way over in a few short strides, to gently smooth out the creases on his forehead, so his little tree could be peaceful again. As he brushed aside the hair covering his forehead, he uncovered a mark, in the shape of the Big Dipper. Bill felt something stir inside his heart as he traced the mark. Was this why he was called Dipper? And why the constellation had almost seemed to call out for him as he stared at the sky?

Leaning over him, Bill pressed a single kiss to his cheek. It felt so intimate, despite them having kissed before. Maybe it was because the previous kiss was emotionless, a dare. Used to prove a point. This one... This one he just hoped would mean something. His secret. 

"Oh, Dipper."

And with those last two words, he walked back to his side of the room, changed into pyjamas and curled up in bed, still staring at the figure on the other side of the room. 

_You're not meant to like him. Stop._

With his thoughts tumbling, heart stuttering, and fear mounting, he fell into a fitful sleep. 

* * *

In the morning, as Bill rubbed his mismatched eyes, they strayed to the other side of the room. 

_Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit._

Dipper wasn't there. 

Frantically checking the time, the blonde cursed as he ran to the bathroom. At first glance, everything seemed undisturbed, but when he looked closer, he could tell that things had been shifted. 

_No, no, no... Pine tree, you little shit!_

Biting his lip, Bill started pacing back and forth, allowing worry to cloud his mind. 

_I can't deal with this._

A few steps brought him back to his bed, where he knelt and reached under it for a box. When he lifted the lid, the sweet smell of alcohol flooded his nostrils, and he grabbed a random bottle from the mismatched collection. Not even caring what it was in his hurry to forget about Dipper, he began drinking. 

* * *

"Bill? I'm home."

Yawning, the young brunet closed the door and dumped his bag, before turning around. The room was seemingly empty, but there was a rank smell in the air, that made Dipper gag. 

"Bill?"

Just as Dipper was about to leave, to try and find someone to help, Bill came stumbling out of the bathroom. He was in a bad way, and the younger man tried, and mostly failed, to contain his repulsion. 

Vomit stained Bill's shirt, and the smell of it wafted towards Dipper. Tear tracks ran down his cheeks, and his hair was messy, exposing his other eye. He looked tired, sick, and as though he was battling something, and at once Dipper took a step forward. 

"No!" cried Bill. His speech had a slight slur, which caused the brunet to worry that he had been drinking. 

"But I-"

"Dont come near me. Don't... Just dont."

Pain filled the younger man's face, which caused a mirrored expression on Bills. 

"But I wanna help... What happened? Did you.. Did something happen?"

Bill had wanted nothing more in his life than to scream at that moment that  _you happened._

"I'm sorry for punching you," he said instead, and Dipper blinked in surprise. "And for being so... angry."

"That's fine, it doesn't matter," Dipper insisted, although a hand went to his nose. "What matters is how you got into this state, and getting you out of it."

Before Bill could protest, Dipper was pulling him into the bathroom and tactfully ignoring the letter and razors. With his most stubborn expression and a towel, he started cleaning the tearstains and vomit from Bill's face. 

"Take off your shirt," he commanded, once the blondes face was clear. Bill raised his eyebrows but didn't question it, unbuttoning the shirt. 

As the taller mans forearms moved past Dippers face, he caught a flash of red. 

"What's that?" he demanded, going to grab Bills arm, but he held it against himself protectively. 

"Nothing! It's nothing! Stop getting so involved in my personal business!"

With a scowl, Dipper grabbed the vomit-stained shirt and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Bill to sigh in relief about how close Dipper came to seeing his arm, and how he didn't.

After a few minutes, Dipper returned with a blue hoodie. He pulled it over Bills head, ignoring all the complaints fired his way. 

Once Bill was clean, the brunet allowed him to leave the bathroom, after ensuring that he didn't want a shower.

"You'd probably watch me anyway, with how overprotective you're being," Bill complained, the slight slur remaining. Dipper didn't respond, simply waited until Bill was in bed, warm. That was when he collapsed on his own bed. 

Time to question Bill. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update this time! I'm trying to update a lot more often so I don't lose inspiration, but please tell me if something's gone wrong or if I should post less!


	7. Mixed Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is ALL over the place. My writing has gone to shit lately, but I still find this really fun, so I'll keep going until I find my writing style again.

"Name?"

"Bill."

"Full name?"

"William Cipher."

"Age?"

"Early twenties."

"Good enough. Major?"

"Musical theatre. How is this-"

"Sexual preference."

"Too personal. How is this relevant anyway?"

Dipper took a deep breath and bit his lip. "I'm asking stupid questions so I know your memory hasn't been impaired."

"Stupid questions, no shit."

"Look, what even happened? Did you get ill, or did you do something?"

Bill scowled, not replying for a second. His mind drifted to the box of alcohol under his bed. Collecting alcohol for bad times was a bad habit he should have dropped when he came to college, but what else was he meant to do? Long years of surviving through things with drugs and alcohol meant it was just... what he did. 

"Alcohol." he muttered, and Dipper had to strain to hear him. Once he had registered the word, he blinked in surprise, not quite knowing how to feel. 

"Bill..." he said softly, tilting his head. "You don't... That's really bad for you."

Bill stared at the ceiling, going a little red. He  _knew_ it was bad for him. He was sure that Dipper knew he knew. But... 

He didn't care. 

That was the thing, he didn't care. Or rather, he cared too much. He cared too much about Dipper to care about himself. 

"Where did you even get that much alcohol?"

The question almost slipped past him, he was so lost in thought. Even then, it took him a few moments to bring himself to reality and answer.

"I had it. Under my bed."

"What?!" The shock in Dippers voice brought Bill fully back to reality, and he stared at the ceiling in shame. 

"Bill, you need to get rid of it. It's not healthy."

"Don't tell me what to do, kid."

They fell into a tense silence, not for the first time. It wasn't long before Dipper heard Bill shift, and not long after that that soft sleeping breathing came from his side of the room. Carefully, so as to not make noise, the brunet crept out of bed, and left the room. 

* * *

"Mabel? You in there?"

Knocking against the door of her room, Dipper felt like a fool. Despite there being no one around, his sister was taking an alarmingly long time to answer. However, when the door was eventually pulled open, it wasn't his sister that stood there. 

Pacifica smirked at Dipper, and he felt his cheeks heat up. 

"Looking for Mabel?"

Feeling his heart speed up, Dipper started making stuttering noises. It was the first time he had heard her voice, and despite what had happened since he returned from classes, he couldn't help himself but be attracted to her. 

"Who is it, Paz?" came Mabel's voice from deeper in the room. 

"Your brother." replied Pacifica, not taking her eyes off Dipper. There were a few seconds as Dipper fumbled with his words, before Mabel appeared behind the blonde. 

"Hey, bro-bro!" she said cheerfully, not noticing his flustered nerves. Pacifica grinned and pushed past Dipper, adjusting her shirt as she walked off. Dipper stared after her as she left, before Mabel grabbed his sleeve. 

"Oh yeah," he said, stepping into the dorm. Half of the floor was nearly covered in what he immediately recognised as Mabel's things, like her favourite knitting needles and glitter glue. The other half had some of the most beautiful clothes he had ever seen scattered across the floor, and he smiled as he imagined Mabel being jealous of them. 

"Anyway, Dips, what're you doing here? Did classes go well?" asked his sister, neatly stepping over her things and sitting on her bed, swinging her legs. Dipper blinked as he snapped out of his thoughts, and looked at Mabel. 

"Yeah they did, but that's not why I came over."

"Hm?" Mabel tilted her head questioningly, trying to figure out what it could be. 

"Uh... You and Pacifica seem to be... getting on well..."

"Dont change the subject. Although, yes, we are." A grin formed on her face, and Dipper could clearly see that she was happy about it. 

"It seems like we haven't talked in forever."

"We talked yesterday, Dips."

Dipper moved through the mess of Mabel's things to sit next to her. The two sat in silence for a few seconds, thinking about how much had changed since they came. 

"But anyway, I should probably tell you why I came." Dipper took a deep breath, glancing at Mabel awkwardly. "Well, I got back, and I didn't think Bill was there, but it turned out he was in the bathroom, and he kind of drank until he threw up and now he doesn't seem like he's okay..."

"Oh, Dip..." Mabel replied sympathetically. "You must be so worried about him."

"That's the thing, I don't even know if I am."

"What?"

The two looked at each other, Dipper's face full of sadness and Mabel's full of confusion. Somehow they both had the same thought, and reached for the others hand. 

"He's just so... unpredictable. I barely even know him. And... I kind of hate him."

Dipper knew he was lying, both to Mabel and himself. In his heart, he knew he just didn't want to admit to himself how much he cared. 

"Uh... Maybe I could try talking to him? And, I dont know, try and figure out what's going on..?"

"Why would he tell you more than he would tell me?"

"Who knows, maybe he's one of those people who prefer talking to strangers about things than close friends."

"We're not particularly close."

"Still, maybe I could get something."

Dippers face screwed up all of a sudden, and he buried his face in his hands. Putting an arm around him, Mabel was surprised when she felt him start to cry. Ever since they were kids, she had usually been the emotional one, who cried at far too much.

There were a few awkward minutes as Dipper cried and Mabel tried to comfort him, not really knowing what to do. Wiping his eyes, Dipper managed to collect himself, and looked at Mabel with a weak smile.

"I'd like that. I think he'll like you more than me."

* * *

 

Bill had woken himself up from a nightmare.

Sweating, he jumped out of bed and started pacing, wondering where Dipper was. He had never wanted to see him more, to hug him, to be able to cry. Because when you dream about losing someone, you want nothing more than to protect them. 

Instead, his mind drifted to the razor blades in the bathroom, and the last of the alcohol under his bed. Just as he started to make a decision, the door opened. 

"Bill, are you awake?" came Dippers tired voice, and Bill spun around, almost throwing himself at Dipper, wrapping him in a hug. The shorter man's eyes widened in surprise, and he took a step back to balance himself. 

Bill had hoped that Dippers arms would wrap around him, welcoming and safe and allowing him a moment of peace. But instead, the brunets arms remained at his sides, hanging limply. 

Sniffing and trying not to let himself cry properly, Bill pulled back his arms, and was shocked to see annoyance on Dippers face. 

"What happened?" he asked, quickly composing himself. Dipper sighed and walked past him quickly. 

"Doesn't matter." replied Dipper, clenching his fists to try and stop himself from running back and hugging Bill. He didn't quite know why it seemed so necessary to not let Bill know how much he liked him, it just did. 

"Oh, okay.."

The sadness in Bills voice almost made Dipper turn around and hug him, but he tried to remember what Mabel had said about trying to make sure Bill knew he didn't like him. 

"Mabel said you should meet her outside the dorms tomorrow. Around midday."

_Maybe I'll finally get a chance to talk to Pacifica! And then I can forget all this stuff about liking Bill and we could be friends._

"Why?"

"She wants to get to know you. Says she should know her brothers roommate or something."

_And I can get to know my sisters roommate._

"Oh. Okay. I'll try and find her."

They fell into silence. Dipper stood staring at the floor, feeling Bill's eyes on his back. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them wanting to speak and ruin things even more than they seemed to be ruined already, until Dipper heard the sound of the door opening, and Bill leaving. 

Only then did he turn around and look at the closing door, not knowing how exactly to feel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if stuff goes wrong, and kudos and comments are always loved (I read every comment, so please feel free to leave one!)
> 
> Side note, thank you all so much for 1000 hits!


	8. Skipping Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel and Bill decide to skip class together, and end up in a club.

Mabel leant against the side of the dorms, fiddling with the hem of her jacket. She had started taking Pacifica's fashion advice, and although she still wore sweaters nearly all the time, her wardrobe had expanded from just that. 

Glancing at her watch, she frowned. It was already 1pm, and she was getting frustrated. Had Dipper even remembered to tell Bill to come? 

Just as she was reaching into her pocket for her phone, to call Dipper out on his forgetfulness, she spotted someone walking out of the dorms and looking around. Under her breath, she whistled as she looked at him. 

_Damn, Dips lucky._

As he walked us, she tried to contain her attraction. Despite Dip saying the guy only ever seemed to dress formally, he appeared to be in a hoodie. One of... Dippers hoodies? 

"Hey," she said, playing it cool as he arrived. How had she not been able to see this hot piece of ass since she arrived? _Dips been keeping him all to himself,_ she thought jokingly, before realising that Bill was speaking. 

"Hey. You must be Mabel." he said, and smiled. She nodded, smiling back. "You look just like your brother."

"Well yeah, we're twins."

"Not all twins are identical, yknow. Besides, most male-female twins aren't."

Silence from Mabel. Bill laughed nervously, afraid he had fucked it up before he had even said 6 sentences.

"What, are you... not twins, or something..?"

"No, we are," Mabel replied, cheery again. "We're just not technically male-female. You should really talk to Dip about it."

Frowning in confusion, Bill nodded slowly. He didn't quite get what Mabel meant, but the supposed he would have to wait until whatever the girl wanted was done before he could escape and ask Dipper. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Hmm..." Mabel frowned playfully, before her face lit up. "Hey, I know! Let's go out!" His eyes widening, Bill inadvertently took a step back. Mabel was already so different to Pine Tree. He was... Secure. And safe. And she was spontaneous and loud, or at least she seemed that way so far. 

"What do you mean..?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. She laughed and grabbed his hand. 

"Let's skip class, and go out to a party. Get drunk or whatever. It'll be fun!"

"Well, I'm sure Dipper's told you the last time I got drunk, and how it didn't go so well."

"Aww, don't be a spoilsport! Maybe you'd prefer going out later today? I get it, most clubs don't open until late."

 _Damnit, this girl seems fun,_ the blond thought, a smirk growing on his face. He glanced at her face, and was struck by how much she looked like Dipper. 

"Alright, alright, fine. Let's just go out to a cafe or something until the clubs start to open."

"Yes!" Mabel dropped Bill's hand and punched the air, grinning. "You won't regret this. I can be a lot of fun!"

Winking, she grabbed Bill's hand again, and started running off towards the town, dragging him behind her as he attempted to keep up. 

* * *

Almost eight hours later, they had somehow managed to discuss almost every topic Mabel could think of, visit almost every place in town, get a bus out to the next town along and start to get drunk, and Mabel still hadn't asked Bill about Dipper. In fact, she had almost completely forgotten that that was why they were hanging out in the first place. 

Ending up outside a seedy-looking nightclub, just opening, the two high-fived. Bill wasn't entirely sure why the hyperactive girl was so much fun to hang out with, she just was. Maybe she reminded him of his old friends. But thinking of them sent a chill down his spine, and he attempted to refocus his mind on getting drunk with Pine Trees twin. 

"Two wines, please!" Mabel said, leaning on the counter like she knew what she was doing. The bartender glared at her. 

"Wine is for pussies. Order some real alcohol." he growled, and Bill lightly shoved Mabel away. 

"Vodka shots. Lots of them." he said, producing a handful of dollars. The bartender nodded approvingly, and got to work. Mabel stared at Bill disbelievingly. 

"Bill, we can't do shots!" the brunette hissed, and Bill shrugged, laughing. 

"Don't be a spoilsport," he replied, winking. "Besides, aren't we meant to be having fun? Cmon, just do this for me."

She sighed, and nodded reluctantly. She  _had_ been having a lot of fun, and she didn't wanna lose her newfound friend, especially with his looks. Who knew, maybe she could have a shot, since Dipper had explicitly said he kinda hated Bill.

"Shots." the bartender said, lining them up in front of them. Ten shots total. Bill caught Mabel's eye and smirked, picking up one of the tiny glasses and holding it up, as if in a toast. Mabel grinned back and grabbed one as well, clinking them together. 

"Cheers to a great night," Bill said, and knocked back the alcohol. Mabel did the same, although her face screwed up a little in disgust. They both started racing to finish the shots without even realising, with Bill declaring himself the winner after downing his five a few seconds before Mabel. 

Both of them now drunk, they both smirked. Both had pockets full of money, both had wild personalities, and both could appreciate a good time. 

This night was going to be one to remember.

* * *

Several large drinks and a hefty amount taken out of Bill's wallet later, the blond stood up and dragged the brunette onto the dance floor, where countless other bodies pressed against them, jumping up and down and grinding to the beat. 

"LET'S DANCE!" Bill yelled over the pounding music. Mabel narrowed her eyes, trying to hear him over all the noise. 

"WHAT?" she replied, and Bill shrugged, before grabbing her hand and starting to dance along with the pulse of the crowd. 

The two danced, both with blurry vision and clouded minds, for a few minutes, before all of a sudden Bill grabbed Mabel's head and pulled her in. Before she knew it, their lips were pressed together, and her eyes were closing, and they were kissing, their bodies pressed together by the other people in the club. 

Bill didn't know exactly why he had done it. Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps it was because she was a fun girl and he was enjoying himself, or perhaps it was because she looked just like Dipper, even when she was tired and sweaty from dancing. 

It was most likely to be the last one. 

Pulling her out of the crowd, into a slightly more quiet part of the club where they could just about hear each other without yelling, Bill pressed their lips together again. Mabel melted into his kiss, wrapping her arms around him. 

He left her mouth and started pressing kisses along her jawline, past her ear and down her neck, kissing and nibbling and-

"Dipper says he hates you."

The words were blurted out of nowhere, completely unprompted. Immediately, Mabel covered her mouth, regretting the words instantly. Bill was silent, feeling his heart drop. After a few seconds he pulled himself away from her neck, and looked at her, her face now looking painfully like Dippers. 

"What a turn off," he said lightly, although his eyes were blazing with angry, hurt flames. "Mentioning your brother when someone is kissing you. Not highly recommended."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I-"

"Don't worry about it. We should just get out of here."

With that, the blond turned on his heel and started walking towards the door. Mabel stared after him before pulling herself together and following at a light jog, trying to ignore people as they pressed against her or leered at her. 

As Bill walked, he was full of angry fire, but mostly he was just sad. He really thought that Dipper had cared about him. The way he had sounded when he found Bill, sick and drunk, had clearly lulled the blond into a false sense of security. 

Getting outside, Bill breathed in the cold night air, and it somewhat cleared his head. After a few seconds, he heard the door open again, and Mabel came to stand by his side. 

"We should find the next bus to Gravity Falls," Bill said coldly, not wanting to look at Mabel. Her face was just too much like Pine Trees. 

"Right, yeah," she said sadly, kicking at the ground. Not replying, Bill simply turned, and started walking towards the next bus stop, followed by the brunette. 

* * *

A little while later, Bill found himself back at the door of dorm 350. Sighing, he opened it and walked in, expecting Dipper to be asleep this late. 

What he didn't expect was to see him propped up in bed, reading a book. When he glanced up, he smiled, and Bill felt something twist in his gut. 

"Hey Bill!" the brunet said, waving as Bill turned on the light by his bedside table and sat down, starting to take off his shoes. "You're back late. Good time?"

"Mm."

The disgruntled noise made Dipper frown. Something had clearly gone wrong. He wasn't sure if it was between Mabel and Bill, or if he dared wonder if it was possibly about him. 

"You... Okay?"

Bill didn't reply, grabbing his pyjamas and heading into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. When he returned a few minutes later, he didn't seem to have gotten any less annoyed. 

"Bill?"

"What do you care?" Bill suddenly burst out, spinning round and snarling at Dipper, who recoiled. "You hate me anyway, so don't fucking try and act like you give a shit."

Before Dipper could answer, Bill stormed to his bed and jumped in, deliberately facing away from the brunet. Not knowing quite how to respond, Dipper waited a couple of minutes, before flicking off his light and putting down his book. He pulled the duvet over him and stared at the wall, occasionally glancing at Bill until the wave of sleep overtook him and he couldn't worry any more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do write kissing? I'm an actual child I can't do this
> 
> Anyway this has been fun and if anyone's been reading before this chapter was posted didja notice the new tags I added oooo more on that later~


	9. New Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets mad at Mabel, before Bill apologises and tries to find what Mabel meant about the twins not being male-female.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I was planning stuff for this and I passed out that's fun  
> Eh I'm okay now so enjoy another terrible update ft. sibling angst and trans Dip

"So? How did it go?"

Mabel looked at her brothers hopeful eyes and dropped her gaze, unable to meet the excited look. In truth, she had hoped Bill had told him, just so she wouldn't be forced to say what had happened. Instead, they were once again on Mabel's bed, the female twin full of guilt and the male full of anticipation. 

"I... didn't ask about you." she said quietly, not looking at him. Even without seeing his face, she knew that it was dropping, confusion spreading across it. 

"What do you mean...?" Dipper asked, laughing nervously. When Mabel didn't answer, he tapped her shoulder, and she lifted her head suddenly, causing him to jump. 

"I'm really sorry, Dip... We just started hanging out, and I forgot all about you.. Until.." She trailed off and allowed her head to drop again. Drawing his eyebrows together, Dipper opened his mouth to speak, before closing it once again, considering his words carefully. 

"So... What happened?"

"We ended up at a nightclub in the next town over, and we both had a lot of alcohol. Like, a lot." Dipper narrowed his eyes. He always disapproved of Mabel having alcohol, and since what happened with Bill, he disapproved of him too. "Somehow we ended up on the dance floor, and before I knew it we were kissing."

A flash of shock went through the male twin, and he felt his heart drop. He had no idea that saying he hated Bill would mean his sister, of all people, would end up kissing him. 

"Then what?" asked Dipper, forcing the words out of his mouth painfully. Mabel sighed and fiddled with the hem of her sweater. 

"We got to the side of the club, and he started kissing me more, and then I don't know what came over me. I just suddenly blurted out that you hated him."

"You... What?" Dipper felt his heart falling even further. So now not only had Mabel gotten to be with Bill, but the blonde thought he hated him. 

"He just kind of walked away, but he looked really angry. And... Kind of upset, too. He didn't speak to me again after that, just paid the bus fare and faced away from me the whole ride home."

Dipper didn't reply. His mind was turning over all the ways this could have happened, and all the ways he could try and apologise to Bill. He really hadn't meant it, he just... 

What was he  _doing?_

"Whatever, Mabel. You didn't fucking do what you were meant to, in any case."

Standing up, Dipper felt Mabel grab his sleeve, but he shook her off, turning and folding his arms. 

"Anything else you'd like to tell me?"

"I..." Mabel thought. She considered telling him that she had basically told Bill they weren't biologically a boy and a girl, but something in her mind stopped her. "No."

"Great. That's just lovely. Thanks a lot, Mabel."

"Dipper, I'm really sorry."

"You should be."

Mabel fiddled with a lock of her hair. It was rare for her twin to get this angry. Normally he was pretty calm, but this... A doubt started to creep into her mind. 

"Dip... Do you really hate him?"

Dippers face twitched, and he turned around without a word. As he opened the door to leave, Pacifica was standing there, her hand outstretched as though she was reaching for the handle. Instantly, Dippers cheeks went red.  _Why does this keep happening?_

Ignoring the blonde, Dipper pushed past and headed back to his own dorm room. As Pacifica came in, Mabel rolled onto her stomach and buried her head into her pillow. Paz could hear faint screaming emanating from it as she removed her shoes. 

"What's up with him?" she asked, referring to Dipper. Mabel rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. 

"It's a long story."

"I got time. Besides, your brother is cute."  _Reminds me of you,_ she added under her breath, not loud enough for the brunette to hear. 

"I think he likes you, you know. Anyway, it's not really important, I guess... I'm not entirely sure what's going on myself."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Mab." Paz grinned at Mabel reassuringly, pulling off her jacket. "Besides, it's not like a lame lil knitter like you could help anyway."

Mabel smiled back, knowing Pacifica's teasing was just how she comforted people. Feelings were complicated, and her own feelings were messed up now. Her mind wandered to her brother, and she hoped everything was going okay. 

* * *

When Dipper returned back to his room, Bill was already there, seemingly waiting for him. 

As he walked through the door, he instantly considered turning around and leaving. The blond was laying across his bed, and looked up hopefully as Dipper entered. 

"Dipper!"

The brunet looked away, not wanting to meet the golden gaze of his roommate. Biting his lip, he sat down on his bed and focused on untying his sneakers. 

"Dipper, look, I'm sorry." The apology made Dipper glance up in surprise, and shift his focus from his shoes. "I know you hate me, and I-"

"I don't hate you, Bill."

"But Mabel-"

"I've been lying to myself because I didn't know how to feel about you. I still don't, but I know I don't hate you. Okay?"

"I... Thanks."

For once, the silence they fell into wasn't tense. Instead, it was companionable, friendly. Dipper liked the change. It was good to finally get his lie off his chest. And he would really have to talk to Mabel about blabbing his secrets. 

"Anyway, your sister mentioned something."

"She mentioned a lot of things, from what I've heard." They both laughed lightly, before the mood turned serious again. 

"We were talking about twins, and I said most male female twins aren't identical. And then she mentioned something about you not technically being male female..?"

Dipper narrowed his eyes and went quiet. He would REALLY have to talk to Mabel about blabbing his secrets. AND about telling him when she did. Bill sat patiently, sensing that it was a touchy subject, before Dipper began to speak. 

"Well, I hoped I wouldn't have to tell you, but-"

"You don't have to tell me, I was just wondering."

"Nah, it's fine. It's probably better that you know anyway." Taking a deep breath, Dipper started playing with the hem of his hoodie anxiously. "Okay, so Mabel was right. We're not technically a male and female twin pair."

Anxiety mounted in him, and he bit down on his fingernail. He had really hoped that he wouldn't have to tell Bill, and if he did that it wouldn't be this soon in the school year. It wasn't even Halloween yet, for gods sake. 

"We were kind of originally a female twin pair. Like, both of us were female." He looked up at Bill, hoping that he had got the hint. The blonds exposed eye was wide with surprise, so he assumed he understood. "I figured it out when I was around twelve. Mabel was super supportive, along with my parents, and I guess it just went from there."

"So you're saying you're..." Bill breathed, his eyebrows pulling together. Dipper laughed awkwardly, scratching his head. 

"Yeah, Bill, I'm trans. There ya go. Happy?"

"Wow. This is... new information."

"No shit."

Both of them went quiet again. Attempting to process the new thought, Bill lay on his back and brushed his hair off his face, revealing his other eye. 

"So, if you dont mind me asking," started Bill, and Dipper rolled his eyes. "Are you... fully transitioned? Or are you still binding?"

Dipper kicked at the floor and brought a hand to his chest. He didn't reply for a minute, deciding if he could trust Bill without being mocked. 

"Still binding." he said, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I can't afford top surgery."

"Sorry." The second apology of the day made Dipper narrow his eyes suspiciously. "I get it's something you don't really wanna tell me." 

The brunet laughed a little. "It's fine. You're a lot more accepting than I expected, in all honesty." Bill gasped in mock offence.

"You must have such low standards of me, Pine Tree!"

Both of them laughed. Tension between them had dissipated, but Dipper knew how easily set off and unpredictable his secretive roommate was. It would probably only take a little to set him off again, and then they would be back to square one. 

"Hey, Dipper?"

"Hm?"

"Uh... You know when you read to me a while ago?" asked the blond, staring at the ceiling. Dipper looked at him in surprise. 

"Yeah?"

"Could we... Do that again?

Folding his arms, Dipper scrunched up his nose. Bill had never been this shy or nervous. He knew him as assertive, flirty or angry, more intense than shy.

"Okay, man, what's up?" Dipper asked. "Did you get another of the notes?" Bill shrugged awkwardly. 

"No, it's not that. I just saw someone I used to know this morning."

"Oh yeah, where have you been today? When I woke up you were nowhere to be seen, so I just kinda left for Mabel's, but when I got back you were here.."

"I went out to get breakfast, at the diner in town. And I just kind of spotted an old.. friend. I came back here straight away."

"I get the feeling you're not friends anymore."

"No way, we're best friends and braid each others hair at the weekends! The fuck do you think?"

_And there it is. He's set off again._

"Bill," started Dipper. "Are you bipolar?" The blond frowned, and shrugged. 

"Who knows? I've never really bothered to see anyone about it." replied Bill uncomfortably. Neither of them spoke for a while after that, and Bill rolled onto his side, facing away from Dipper. The brunet bit his lip, hoping that attitudes between them had improved a little bit. He didn't want to have come out for nothing. 

* * *

That night, Dipper woke up almost screaming. He was lying in a pool of his own sweat, breathing hard in the pitch black of night. Squinting, he struggled to read the digital clock on his bedside table. 

**3:05am**

Running a sweaty hand through his hair, he went over the nightmare in his head. It hadn't been explicitly scary, as such, but boy had it terrified him. 

"Bill?" he spoke into the silent darkness. He heard shifting from Bill's side of the room, but couldn't tell if it was him moving in his sleep or waking up. "Bill, are you awake?"

"The fuck do you want, Pine Tree?"

_Yeah, he's awake._

"Uh... I had a nightmare."

 _Join the club,_ Bill muttered into his pillow, but allowed Dipper to keep talking. 

"And I... Oh, never mind."

"Pine tree, now you've got me awake, you might as well just go for it."

"Well, uh..." Dipper twisted the corner of his duvet, biting his lip. "Would you mind if we... maybe... shared a bed? Just for tonight, of course!"

The darkness went silent again, and Dipper was terrified that he had pissed Bill off. But before he could get any more anxious, he heard shuffling, and before he knew it Bill's tall figure was standing by his bed. 

"Shove over, then," said Bill roughly, and yawned. Dipper moved over eagerly, glad that Bill had actually agreed. 

"Now, this is only for tonight, because otherwise you'll fall in love with me or something," Bill said sleepily as he climbed in. Wrapping his arms around Dipper, he buried his face into his neck and chest, as the brunet awkwardly placed his arms around the taller man. They shifted a little until both were comfortable, and Bill smiled faintly, knowing Dipper couldn't see him. 

Dipper could feel his heart beating, and hoped Bill wouldn't mind. Swallowing, he remembered that he wasn't wearing his binder, and hoped that the blond wouldn't mention it. As he worried, Bill was slowly getting more sleepy, finding comfort in the younger man's arms. Before he knew it, he was drifting back to sleep, and it wasn't long before Dipper followed suit. 

* * *

The next morning, Bill was awoken by the incessant beeping of Dippers alarm. Rubbing his eyes as he came to, he realised that Dipper was still asleep, cradling him in his arms. He had completely forgotten about classes in the morning, and in his sleepy state instinctively reached past Dipper's face to click the snooze button. Smiling, he snuggled back into his position, and instantly fell back into his dreamland. 

By the third time he clicked snooze, he was amazed that Dipper was still asleep, but still wasn't ready to leave his warm place in the brunets arms. Doing his best to not disturb Dipper, he reached over and turned around the alarm, silently thanking him for not buying an alarm which required a screwdriver to open. Pulling off the back, Bill removed the batteries and tossed them aside, turning the alarm back round to show the blank display. 

Cuddling back into Dipper's chest, Bill wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist to pull him closer. He smiled wider than he had in a while, sleep overtaking him once again. 

Several hours later, he was woken up once again, this time not by an alarm, but by Dipper rushing out of bed. 

"Bill, why the hell have the batteries been taken out of my alarm?!" yelled the brunet, grabbing his clothes and rushing into the bathroom. Bill rubbed his eyes and squinted, sitting up and looking at the blank alarm. 

_Oh, yeah, I did take the batteries out, didn't I?_

Returning a few minutes later, dressed and with a toothbrush in his mouth, Dipper glared at the blond in his bed. The latter grinned awkwardly and pulled his hair over his eye. 

"Eh... Long story."

"Well, just get back to your own bed, okay? I'm super late, thanks to you."

With that, Dipper turned on his heel and disappeared back into the bathroom. Reluctantly, Bill dragged his tired body from the warm confines of Dipper's bed, and returned to his own, cold from being empty all night. 

After a few more minutes, Dipper left the bathroom and dumped his pyjamas on his bed, picking up his backpack and hurrying to the door. As he opened it, he turned around and looked at Bill, sitting in his bed stretching and yawning. He smiled softly, before Bill glanced up at him and he left without a word. 

After the door closed behind him, Bill leant back against his bed. He knew it was bad to go back to old habits, but he couldn't stop himself from leaning over to his bedside table and pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his old lighter. Lighting one up and taking a long drag, he sighed. Seeing Pyronica must have influenced him to go back to his old ways, from back when he was their leader. 

But he wasn't their leader now, and they were threatening to kill anyone he loved. Did that mean Dipper? Did he love the insufferable nerd? Because if he did... 

He shuddered and took another long drag on his cigarette. He must be messed up from spotting Pyronica, even briefly. What would Dipper think? 

Now, that's what he would have to stop. He needed to either not care, or care enough to have the courage to stand up to them for his nerdy roommate. 

In any case, he would need to have a serious think about his feelings. 


	10. Wendy and Pacifica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper meets someone new and finds himself in an awkward position, until his Prince Charming comes to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha this has one of my least favourite ships in it but oh well I dont mind it that much

As he rushed through the main school building, desperately attempting to find the right class, Dipper silently cursed his roommate. Above that, though, he cursed himself, for asking to sleep in the same bed as Bill. It had just reinforced his confusion, not to mention his anxiety. 

A few people stared at him as he hurried around, but students in a rush was such a common sight that no one was particularly bothered. He still felt self-conscious, hating being stared at, and tried to slow himself down and steady his breathing, and the inquisitive looks lessened, to his relief. 

All of a sudden, he heard footsteps behind him, and turned around quickly. He saw a flash of ginger hair and a checkered shirt, before he was knocked to the floor. 

Rubbing his eyes, Dipper looked up to see one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen on top of him, pinning him to the floor. Long ginger hair was loose around her shoulders, and her eyes were full of laughter and apology. Beginning to hyperventilate, taken aback by her beauty, Dipper almost didn't react when she rolled off him and held out her hand to help him up. She wasn't the kind of Pacifica pretty, she was just... 

"Man, you okay? Did I knock you too hard?"

_Shit, she's talking to me._

"No, no, I'm fine," Dipper assured the redhead, taking her hand and letting her pull him up. "It was just... unexpected."

"Aw, man, I'm really sorry. I'm Wendy, by the way. Wendy Corduroy."

"Dipper Pines."

"Hey, I know you!" Her eyes widened in recognition, while Dipper's did the same, but in fear instead of knowledge. "You're the kid who's lumbered with rooming with Bill!"

"Oh, uh, yeah, he's my roommate.." Tucking a curl of hair behind his ear, Dipper brushed himself off and took another breathless glance at Wendy. 

_Man, I thought developing loads of crushes was Mabel's thing. Guess she's rubbed off on me or something._

Noting how remarkably calm he was, Wendy frowned. 

"Dude, did you, like, hit your head or something? People are normally a little more mad or upset or something when they get knocked over."

"No, I'm fine," replied the brunet, noting for the first time how much taller the redhead was to him. He once again cursed not being blessed with a tall body. 

"Anyway, what way are you headed? I might as well walk with you a bit, having knocked you over and all."

Dipper pointed silently down the hall, and the two began walking, Wendy chatting cheerfully and Dipper replying where necessary, mostly being content to listen. 

When they reached the right classroom, they remained outside it for a moment, chatting away happily. Dipper was surprised by how easy she was to talk to, but didn't complain, pleased to have an excuse to talk to the gorgeous girl. 

"Alright, well, I should really get going. I hope we bump into each other again!" Wendy said, her voice genuinely hopeful. 

"Only without you knocking me over," Dipper said amusedly, and the redhead laughed awkwardly. 

"Let's not talk about that, okay?" she said, and pulled her fingers across her mouth as if she was zipping it. Then she winked and turned around, leaving Dipper a little lost behind her, to make his way into the lecture almost half way through. 

* * *

At his lunch period that day, Dipper was struggling to find people he knew. Mabel was nowhere to be seen, despite them usually sharing lunch together, and he didn't have a clue where Bill was, nor did he particularly mind. 

Before he spotted her, Wendy was heading over to him, and tapped his shoulder, making him jump. 

"Wendy!"

"Sup, dude? Come hang out with me and the gang!" Gesturing over her shoulder, Dipper saw a group of young adults, all grouped together. One of them smirked and waved at him, and he waved awkwardly back. 

"Well, I usually spend lunch with my sister-"

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah. My twin. Why?"

"Just wondering, man. Anyway, if she doesn't show up, just remember you can come hang out with us, alright?"

She was about to leave, when Dipper felt another tap on his other shoulder, when the redhead scowled and folded her arms. Looking around, Dipper saw Pacifica there, smiling at him but glaring with her eyes at Wendy. 

"Rich girl," Wendy muttered, barely loud enough for Dipper to hear. Simultaneously, Pacifica muttered "Common lumberjack," on his other side, again barely loud enough to hear. 

"Whoa, you guys... do you have something against each other..?" Dipper asked, a crack in his voice as he panicked. The two girls glared at each other, before Pacifica started speaking, ignoring Dipper's question entirely. 

"Dipper, do you know where Mabel is?" she asked snappily, still glaring at Wendy, who rolled her eyes sarcastically. 

"I was going to ask you the same thing. And look, guys, seriously-"

"Dipper, you could do a lot better than her. Money isn't everything. Come hang with us." Wendy interrupted, irritated and giving Pacifica a death glare. 

"Guys. I'm not going to do anything unless the two of you tell me why you have such a problem with each other."

"Now's not the time, Dipper." both girls replied at the same time. Dipper frowned, knowing there was something bigger underneath this, and determined to get to the bottom of it. Sure, he barely knew Wendy, but she seemed like a really good friend, or if he was lucky then maybe more than a friend. Besides, he knew Paz, and he also knew that Mabel would kill him if he let something like this pass. 

"Well, I... You guys clearly have some problems with each other, and you've kind of got me stuck between you, so-"

"Something wrong?"

Glancing up in surprise, Dipper saw Bill stood before him, fiddling with the cuffs on his shirt. He was wearing a gold waistcoat and a bow tie, going the full hog with formal wear, and Dipper couldn't help but be surprised at the drastic change, from having seen his roommate in a hoodie for the past few days. 

"Bill!" sighed the brunet, relieved. The blond smirked at the two girls, and took Dipper's arm, pulling him gently out from between them. 

"What are you doing here, Cipher?" Wendy asked, casting an annoyed side glance at Pacifica.

"Just here to collect something. Or rather, someone." Bill pulled Dipper close to his side, and smirked at Wendy, who went red. Dipper couldn't tell if it was in anger or embarrassment, perhaps both. "But well, ladies? Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing you need to get concerned about, Bill." Pacifica said roughly, turning around and disappearing into the crowd, presumably to resume her search for Mabel. Wendy kicked at the floor and looked at Dipper, repeating the zipping-mouth motion before looking back up at Bill. 

"Careful your old gang don't see you doing that," she said, not harshly, but with an edge to her words that gave Dipper the idea that she knew something he didn't. Before he could try and speak again, the redhead had winked, and turned around, heading back to her group of friends. 

Looking up at Bill, Dipper was surprised to see his jaw set in a hard, angry line. He dropped his hand away from Dipper as though the younger man had suddenly become red-hot, and adjusted his bow tie, swallowing and not looking directly at the brunet. 

Then he stalked away angrily, and Dipper was left to eat his lunch alone and wonder what the hell was up with the three of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wendy will be back, eventually, I promise. I think. Who knows?
> 
> I'm really sorry for the short chapter but there was nothing else I really needed to put in this one, the next chapter will be longer, promise <3


	11. Halloween Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: rape (not explicitly described)
> 
> this is spoilers for the chapter I know and I don't care because peoples comfort and mental stability comes before not knowing what happens in a chapter okay
> 
> please dont kill me I'm just looking out for people

For the past few weeks, Bill had been hurtfully cold and distant. The way he didn't seem to speak to Dipper at all honestly hurt the brunet, but on the outside he remained warm and friendly towards his roommate.

"Have you heard about the dance?"

Once again, Mabel and Dipper were on Mabel's bed, talking. The female twin was laying across her bed, staring at the ceiling, while Dipper was sitting on the edge, casting occasional nervous glances towards Pacifica, who was lying on her bed across the room with her headphones in. Despite the knowledge that she wasn't listening to their conversation, and probably didn't even care, it still filled him with anxiety having someone there to listen. 

"Uh, yeah," he replied, shaking his head gently to clear his head and looking back at Mabel. "Are you planning to go with anyone?"

Pacifica glanced up briefly, and Dipper couldn't help but feel like it was in response to his question. But then she returned to bobbing her head gently to the beat of her music. 

"Eh, I don't know. I might go with Paz, if she's interested." Without looking up, Pacifica smirked, and Dipper was reminded oddly of Bill. "What about you?"

"Uh.. Maybe Wendy?"

Dipper deliberately didn't mention Bill, not wanting to say something he couldn't live up to. He desperately wanted to go to the dance with the blond, but with the way he had been acting in the last few weeks, he got the feeling he wasn't wanted. Pacifica scowled, and the male twin was hit with a sudden feeling that perhaps she wasn't listening to music at all. 

"Anyway," he said suddenly, stretching and getting a burning desire to get home to his dorm. "I should get back. I have studying to do."

"Aww, alright then, Dip." Mabel poked him gently with her foot. "Remember to tell me if you ask anyone!"

"Yeah, I know," he said, laughing and glancing at Pacifica, who looked a little angry, presumably at the mention of Wendy. "See you later, Mab."

With that, he walked to the door and opened it, smiling weakly at his sister and her maybe-girlfriend. Leaving quietly, he closed the door behind him, and started walking down the corridor. 

In Mabel's dorm, Pacifica pulled out her headphones and looked over at Mabel, who was still in the same position as before. 

"Do you really think he'll ask Wendy to the dance?" she asked, her tone subdued. Mabel laughed, taking Pacifica's tone as jealousy. 

"I'm sure he won't find the courage to, so you're fine." she said, but her heart told her to ask Paz instead. Attempting to shake off the instinct, she smiled at Pacifica and waited for a reply.

"Mhm," replied the blonde, biting her lip. They both went quiet, which was out of character for Mabel, although not especially for Pacifica. Mabel tried to convince herself that she shouldn't ask Pacifica to the dance, but it was getting harder and harder the more she thought about Dipper and Pacifica at the dance together. 

Maybe she should ask... 

* * *

When Dipper returned to his room, it was empty. At this point, he wasn't even surprised that Bill wasn't there, having hardly seen him since the day he met Wendy. 

Just as he was settled into studying, notes and books spread across the floor, the door opened and Bill stalked in, his outfit formal as always. 

"Hey there, Bill!" Dipper said cheerfully, looking up from his notes. The blond made a disgruntled noise and walked to his bedside table, pulling the drawer open and picking out a pack of cigarettes. Dipper frowned at him, but Bill ignored the look of disapproval and lit one up, sitting down on his bed. 

"Who are you going to the Halloween dance tomorrow with?" he asked abruptly, breathing out a long sigh of smoke. Dipper frowned, remembering the rules against smoking in the dorms, but not mentioning them for fear of annoying Bill even further. 

"Oh, uh, I don't-"

"You're going with Pacifica or Wendy, aren't you?" Bill asked roughly, taking a drag on his cigarette. Dipper blushed lightly, moving his eyes back onto his notes. 

"I was considering it, yeah.." he said quietly, scanning a textbook page and starting to write a new page of notes. 

"Of course." Bill scowled and stubbed out his cigarette on the top of his bedside table, leaving a small burn mark. "Well, I'll see you at the dance or something. Have fun with whichever loser you choose."

"Look, Bill, what's your problem with them?" Dipper asked, the words tumbling out of his mouth involuntarily. Immediately he regretted it, as the blond's face twisted into a snarl. 

"That's not fucking important to you, pine tree. What I do is my business."

"But I... I wanna be able to care about you, but you don't let me..."

 _There's a reason for that, kid,_ Bill thought, and his snarl deepened. 

"Give it up, kid," he said instead, his voice tinged with the slightest hint of guilt. 

Dipper had never wanted to scream that he liked someone, or maybe even loved them, more than at that moment. Sensing that Dipper had something he needed to say, and having a good idea what that was, Bill's face twisted into something resembling pain. He wanted to allow Dipper the chance to confess, but at the same time, he would feel obligated to confess back, and if 8 Ball caught a whiff of that... 

"I just... I hope we can at least have a dance together." Dipper said, bowing his head to return to his study and hide the tears that threatened to spill. His voice was heavy, and he still had the urge to scream his confession. 

"Your date wouldn't be happy." Bill remarked, as casually as he could manage. Standing up, he tucked the box of cigarettes into his trouser pocket, and went to leave, hesitating at the door. But then Dipper looked up at him and he stopped his dawdling, rushing out as fast as he could. 

* * *

Later that day, Bill was sitting round the back of the dorm building, by the dumpsters. He was smoking quietly, and staring at the sky, lost in his thoughts. He wasn't angry at Dipper. If anything, he was angry at himself, and needed some kind of therapy to fix it. Sitting by the dumpsters, smoking and drinking, usually worked, except today it seemed to be failing. Perhaps it was because he didn't have any alcohol. 

"Hello there.~"

The flirty voice broke through his bubble of thought, and the familiarity of it made him shudder. Looking up, he saw the wide grin and pink hair of just who he knew would be standing there.

"Hello, Pyronica..." the blond said tiredly, moving along for the girl to sit down next to him. She squished beside him eagerly, a little too eagerly. 

"What are you doing here, moping all alone? It isn't like you." she purred, running a hand down his arm in what was possibly supposed to be a comforting gesture, but just came off as uncomfortable. Especially as she adjusted her trademark stockings and gloves, and budged herself closer to him. 

"Pyronica, whatever you're doing, stop." Bill warned, but the pink-haired girl just giggled and moved a little closer. 

"You don't have power anymore, Bill... I'm the one with the power now!"

"You stepped down as leader, remember? 8 Ball is the one with the power."

"And I have the power to call him, don't forget..~"

Sighing, Bill stubbed out his cigarette before the end of it burnt right down to his fingers, and glared at Pyronica. Their history together was... dodgy, at best. She could be trying to do anything, and he would have no power to stop her. Because she was right, he had lost his power the night  _that_ had happened. 

"What do you want, anyway?"

Pyronica giggled again, standing up and grabbing Bill's arm to pull him up, pecking a single kiss on his cheek as he stood, stumbling a little. 

"You've lost your poise, Bill! And don't worry, I just want some company with my favourite grumpy blond!" 

"You're insane," Bill muttered, and Pyronica laughed, a note of danger in the joyful sound. She tapped his nose playfully, but her eyes were burning with flames. 

"Aren't we all?" she murmured, and Bill felt a chill down his spine. She was still second in the rankings of power. She could still control him. She was still willing to hurt Dipper. 

"Alright, fine. Just so long as you leave me alone for the dance tomorrow."

"Oh, I wouldn't dare intrude for that long!" she smiled, her eyes blazing. Bill looked away uncomfortably, and she took her chance, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her before pressing their lips together. 

Bill tried to pull away, having hoped he would never kiss the insane ex again, but she pushed forwards, kissing him oddly gently before pulling away. 

"Now let's go have some fun!" 

Winking, she encircled Bill's wrist with her hand and fixed it with an iron grip. The words were something she had always said in several variations, mostly to Bill, and before he could protest or even react, she was pulling him away, running off to some unknown location. He could only throw one last glance over his shoulder to the dorms where Dipper was before Pyronica pulled him again and he was forced to look forwards. 

* * *

Meanwhile, Dipper was in a dilemma. On the one hand, Bill seemed like he would explode if he mentioned anything about going to the dance together. On the other hand, he desperately wanted to go to the dance with him, or even just be able to dance together once. On a third hand, and he wasn't sure where it came from, he sort of did want to go to the dance with Wendy, or Pacifica. They both seemed really nice, and he could tell he had an underlying crush on both of them. 

Chewing on his pen, he started clearing up his notes. Usually studying cleared his head, but there was so much going on that it was just making everything worse. 

As he shoved everything into his bag and slid it under his bed, he thought about Bill. His face slipped into a frown as a thought crossed his mind that hadn't really before. 

_What sexuality even is he?_

This was a troubling idea. Sure, he was often flirty or sexual, but he also often seemed repulsed by Dipper mentioning romance with boys. Maybe he had some kind of weird complex? Chewing harder on his pen, Dipper felt and heard it snap inside his mouth, and made a face, spitting out the bits of plastic and gagging.

Sighing, he thought that perhaps going out would make him feel better. So with a heavy heart, he headed once again to his sisters dorm, to ask her to hang out with him. He didn't particularly mind where. At this point even a bar would be welcome. At least the alcohol would take his mind off of Bill, or at least he hoped so. 

* * *

Bill was at a bar, despite it being barely 9pm. He had already been forced to drink a lot of alcohol, much more than he would if he was alone, verging on the amount he had when Dipper found him sick and asked him stupid questions. Pyronica was relentless, forcing drinks down his throat, chasing each one with an unwanted kiss. 

He wasn't sure why she was being so pushy, but he had the idea that either drugs or alcohol were involved. Normally, she knew she had control, but she still had respect for him, still held him in high regard. But today, all that was out of the window, and she didn't seem to care one jot about his feelings. 

His feelings were complicated, in any case. Most of him was repulsed, wanting to be back at home with Dipper, but part of him secretly thought that if he played along, he might be accepted back in with his old... friends. He might be able to rise back to being leader. But after a fall like his, he doubted people would ever respect him again. 

"Bill, you're being too distant," Pyronica whined, pouting. Bill looked at her without seeing her properly, and had to blink himself back to reality.

"Oh, sorry, Py," he said vaguely, and the pink-haired girl stuck her tongue out, before her eyes lit up with an idea.

"I know!" she said, and the tone struck a mysterious note of fear through Bill. "Let's go back to your dorm and have some fun!~"

"But... Pi- Dipper! He'll be there, studying," Bill said, and Pyronica narrowed her eyes at the hint of concern. "Like the nerd he is," the blond quickly added, and she seemed satisfied. 

"Aww, we can kick him out or whatever. We haven't had any alone time in ages, and I'm sure you miss me.." she responded sweetly, betting on Bill's alcohol-clouded, unclear mind to get what she wanted. 

Before he could reply, she saw a hint of agreement on his face, and stood up excitedly. 

"Great! Let's go then," she grinned, holding out her arm. It was then that Bill realised she hadn't had anything to drink since they got there, and had just forced more and more alcohol into him, instead. What was she plotting?

When they eventually returned to the dorm, Bill stumbling quite a few times on the way there, it was empty, to the blonds surprise. 

"See, we don't have to worry about him after all," Pyronica tutted, pulling Bill by his tie to the bed she immediately recognised as his. Pushing him onto the bed and kneeling with a leg either side of his body, she smirked, and Bill suddenly understood exactly what was happening. 

"Pyronica, no, this is way too far, even for you," panicked Bill, a strain of terror in his voice. The girl simply laughed and pinned his hands above his head with one of hers, using the other to slowly pull off her top. 

"Relax, Bill," she said flirtily, tossing her top aside. "You've always been okay with this before, so why should it change now?~"

"That's not how it works!" Bill tried to yell, but in his intoxicated state he slurred and garbled his words, making them sound pathetic and useless. Releasing his hands, Pyronica reached behind her to remove her bra, and that's when the blond started to full-on panic. Attempting to shove her off him, normally he would have found it pathetically easy, but the drinks had done something to his strength, and he could do nothing but lay there as she started to press kisses down his neck. 

Removing his shirt and tie, Pyronica started pressing kisses down his chest as well, while Bill lay there in a state of shock, attempting to process what was happening. His body shook with panic and pure fear, and Pyronica mistook it for pleasure, smirking and pressing a finger to Bill's lips, before leaning in close to his ear. 

Her lips brushed against his neck and then his ear, whispering into it words that sent chills down his spine and raw fear shooting through him. 

"Now let's have some fun."

* * *

Around midnight that night, Dipper was finally returning from a night with his sister. The two hadn't properly hung out in that kind of environment, well, ever. It was Mabel's kind of place, a loud, pounding bar with trendy music and lots of crowds, but not so much Dippers. Oddly enough, though, the bar had somehow calmed him, and he was still giggly and drunk when he burst through the door of his dorm. 

That stopped very quickly. 

In Bill's bed, he saw not one figure, as he expected, but two. There was Bill, looking like he was having some kind of nightmare, and a pink-haired girl he didn't recognise, curled up next to him with a sickly smile on her face. Clothes were scattered around the room, and Dipper knew what that meant instantaneously. He could tell from what he saw above the duvet that both of them were naked, and despite knowing that Bill probably didn't like him, it still hurt like he was being stabbed in the heart. 

Without him even taking another step into the room, Dipper turned around instantly and left, tears forming in his eyes. He swiped at them furiously, moving as fast as he could to Mabel's dorm, where he knew he would find warmth and comfort, like he always did. 

Knocking on the door, tears now streaming down his face, Dipper tapped his foot as he waited impatiently for Mabel to answer. Eventually she did, and her face instantly melted into worry. 

"Dip? What happened? You were fine, what, five minutes ago?" she asked, concerned. Dipper took a step inside and she didn't stop him, but put a finger to her lips, gesturing towards Pacifica's sleeping figure. 

They both sat down on Mabel's bed, and Dipper started attempting to explain what he had seen, occasionally having to stifle a sob. Once Mabel understood, her face softened into comfort, and she wrapped her arms around Dipper, whispering soothing words of help. The male twin cried into her, his tears a mix of angry and sad. He didn't know why he felt so betrayed. It wasn't like him and Bill were dating or anything like that. He just had some sort of weird feeling of having been lied to, betrayed and abandoned. 

"You can stay here overnight," Mabel said, already planning to dig out her old sleeping bag from her suitcase.

"What about the rules..?" Dipper sniffed, not looking up. 

"Fuck the rules," she whispered back, and her brother laughed weakly. Then they pulled back from each other, and Mabel started to try and find her old sleeping bag, attempting to stay silent, so as to not wake Paz. Dipper couldn't stop turning the image over and over in his head. 

Eventually, his makeshift bed was made up, and he settled down to sleep in his clothes from the day, which Mabel deemed disgusting. Neither of them were willing to go to Dipper's dorm and retrieve his things, though, and Mabel only had girly clothes that Dipper  _really_ didn't want to wear, so his own clothes it was. The two started to fall asleep without another word, or at least Mabel did. Dipper remained awake for quite a while, unable to sleep, trying to figure out why exactly he felt so betrayed. 

* * *

The next morning, Dipper was woken up by Mabel and Pacifica having a whispered argument. He couldn't tell what time it was, but he could tell it was late, as the light shone through the window unusually bright. As he came to and rubbed his eyes, he could tell that the argument was about him, presumably about him staying overnight. 

Pushing himself up to interrupt, he had a sudden moment of dizziness, and was forced to grab onto Mabel to steady himself. 

"You okay?" his sister asked, helping him regain his balance. He nodded silently, holding his head for a second, before starting to speak. 

"What time is it? And when does the dance start?"

"It's around ten," Pacifica said, folding her arms. "And the dance starts at six, but if you think you're coming with us you've got another thing coming."

Mabel made a face at her, but Dipper just laughed softly. 

"Are you two going to get ready, then?" he asked, and Mabel shrugged.

"Well, it's fancy dress, so-"

"It is?"

The surprise in her brothers voice caught Mabel off guard, and she grinned. 

"You didn't know?"

"No... Man, I don't even have a costume..."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Paz snapped, and Mabel made another face at her. 

"Oh, I might just not go. I'm sure Bill would be there and I don't especially feel like seeing him."

"Aww, come on, don't be a party pooper!" Mabel said coaxingly, her tone pleading. "It'll be fun. And if you hate it you can go straight back to your dorm. Okay?" 

Dipper sighed. "Okay. I'd better get back to my own dorm and start finding a costume, huh."

"That sounds like a good idea, bro-bro." Pressing a kiss to the birthmark on Dipper's forehead, she smiled as he started to walk out of her dorm room. "We'll pick you up at 5:55!"

Nodding, Dipper started to walk away, as Pacifica scowled at Mabel, who simply shrugged back and shut the door. 

* * *

When he got back, Dipper was surprised to find no one there, and the clothes scattered across the room were gone. Tiredly, he reached for his suitcase and unclipped it, trying to determine what he could be. He was glad to be rid of Bill, and be able to think about something else for once. 

He had no doubt that Bill would go as something dark, so in a flash of inspiration he decided to be an angel. 

 _That'll show him,_ he thought, although he wasn't entirely sure how. Already, he was looking through his clothes to find things that fit an angel, and then decided that getting Mabel to help would be the best thing. 

* * *

 

After Mabel had helped, his costume had bloomed. An old white shirt was tucked into a pair of white trousers, and a small pair of feathery wings were attached to his back with glue. A halo was suspended above his head with a clear headband, and when he fixed an angelic smile on his face, he really looked the part. 

When Mabel and Pacifica arrived at 5:55, like they had planned, he had to do a double take. Mabel was fitted with a full mermaid tail and fins, even having tiny scales stuck to her skin. On the other hand, Pacifica had somehow attached a snake tail below her dress, and formed her hair into what looked like snakes, and Dipper assumed she was a gorgon. 

"You look great," he said, suddenly realising how plain his angel outfit looked compared to theirs. Mabel grinned and punched him playfully, while Pacifica rolled her eyes, but still had a faint smile on her face. 

"Cmon, let's go before all the food and shit is gone," the blonde said, hurrying them towards the main campus. 

When they arrived in the hall for the dance, they were actually impressed. Halloween decorations covered the walls and ceiling, and everyone was dressed up. The sheer amount of work put into everything made Dipper feel far too plain and insecure, among all these beautiful detailed works. 

* * *

 

After an hour or so, Dipper had really gotten over himself. He had started to mingle with new people, made some new friends, found Wendy and talked with her for quite a while, and overall he was having a good time. 

But then the door opened again for new people entering, and when Dipper looked at them he felt sick. 

From his point in the hall, he could see that Bill was dressed up like a demon. His golden eye seemed to be wearing a contact so it matched his black one, and even his simple outfit looked far better than Dipper's opposite angel one. The pink-haired girl was hanging on his arm, chatting away, and she seemed to be dressed as a demon as well, wearing gloves and stockings that were almost flaming. 

Turning around quickly, the brunet moved as fast as he could towards the toilets. If he had looked closer at Bill's face, he would have seen the pure discomfort and fear that resided there, but he was too preoccupied with running away as fast as he could. 

Attempting to shake Pyronica, Bill made his way over to Mabel, and whispered a few words to her. The pink-haired girl tugged at his arm, glaring, clearly thinking he was flirting. 

"Uh... I think I..." Mabel looked around, trying to locate Dipper like Bill had asked. She spotted a flash of white escaping the hall and pointed. "There!" Giving Bill a grin, she returned to chatting to Pacifica. 

Meanwhile, Dipper was running to the toilets, trying to hold back his tears. Once he made it in, he checked there was no one in there, locked himself in a cubicle, and allowed himself to sob and shudder violently. Seeing Bill had brought on a whole wave of new emotion, and he didn't want to abandon the dance so early. 

Suddenly, he heard the main door of the bathroom opening, and then a quiet argument, between just-unrecognisable voices. He stopped crying immediately, and covered his mouth for fear of making noise. There were a few more words until he heard footsteps, and the door swung shut. 

Pulling his feet up off the floor, Dipper watched as shiny black shoes paced back and forth, eventually stopping outside his cubicle. There was silence, and Dipper hardly dared breathe. 

".. Dipper?"

Neither of them spoke for a second. 

"B... Bill?"

Getting up, Dipper cautiously unlocked the door, and was shocked to see Bill standing there with tears running down his cheeks. Without saying anything else, he wrapped his arms around Dipper, and then started to speak. 

"When you weren't there in the morning, I assumed you had come in in the night and seen... us." he said awkwardly, and Dipper remained silent, but nodded his head enough for Bill to feel. 

"I didn't want that. I tried to stop her, but she-" Bill's voice cracked in pain and fear at the memory, and without a word Dipper wrapped his arms around Bill as well. "And she's probably listening in to our conversation right now, so I-"

"I'm sorry, Bill," Dipper said, his eyes brimming with tears once more. Bill was about to ask what for, when he realised and shut his mouth. The two embraced for a while, both of them silently crying, until they let go at the same time. Something unspoken had passed between them, and without another word, Bill rubbed away the marks left by his tears and opened the door. Dipper caught a brief glance of the girl on the other side of it, before it was swinging shut again, and he was alone. 

Taking a deep breath, Dipper thought over all that had happened in the past couple of days, and his opinion on what had happened with Bill and the girl had changed completely. 

He only needed a few more minutes, and then he was able to rejoin the dance as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man it's like 1:15am and I just finished this so there's probably gonna be a lotta typos bc I never proofread (it's bad I know)
> 
> Didn't I say there was gonna be a longer chapter? Well I didn't really mean this long but heyho long chapters can't be a bad thing right
> 
> Also, we're starting to unravel Bill's past! All will be explained soon enough, I promise! 
> 
> I hope everyone was okay with the rape scene. It's not something I myself have experienced and perhaps you might say I shouldn't have written it in that case but I hope no one found it too triggering or anything (I hope the tw in the first notes helped)
> 
> Poor old Bill! He's going through so much and he's already been through so much aah my baby why do I do this
> 
> Anyway I'm going to sleep now bc I've spent like 5 minutes just writing the end notes
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed the longest chapter yet aha


	12. Thankful for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm writing another chapter with a dance in it. Don't judge me okay?  
> Anyway it's like 11pm on Thanksgiving so I am going to write as fast as I can to try and get this up on Thanksgiving  
> Time to NYOOM  
> I don't even celebrate Thanksgiving whoops

"What are you thankful for, Dipper?"

Blinking out of his daze, Dipper looked over at Bill. The blond was staring at the ceiling from his bed, his eyes glistening with what looked like tears. 

"There's still quite a while until Thanksgiving, Bill. What's brought this on?" asked Dipper curiously, tilting his head. Bill turned his to look at the brunet, smiling softly. 

"You know this school holds a lot of dances?"

"Yeah, I guess...?"

"There's a Thanksgiving one."

"What's your point?" Dipper was starting to see where this might be going, and getting a little hopeful because of it. 

"Well, I... Uh..." Bill was clearly nervous, his voice stuttering. The brunet waited patiently, smiling hopefully, begging with his eyes for what he thought was going to happen. "Would you... Would you like to go to the dance with me...?"

Grinning widely, Dipper nodded, and Bill glanced up in shock, having caught the motion from the corner of his eye. 

"You... mean it?" asked Dipper, just to check that this wasn't some sick prank. Bill nodded silently, and the brunet felt himself grinning involuntarily. 

"Okay, well, that's sorted." Bill said brusquely, his tone harsh, and Dipper felt his heart drop. "Do you know how to ballroom dance? Waltz, foxtrot, any of that?"

"Do I... need to? Because no."

Bill sighed irritatedly, although his heart was secretly warmed by the prospect of teaching the younger man to dance. 

"It's a tradition to have at least one ballroom dance. So if you don't know, I'll have to teach you then."

Dipper attempted to contain his smile, playing it cool and fiddling with the corner of his book. Taking a side glance at Bill, his hopes dropped when he saw the blond hadn't moved a muscle. Clearly, the dance lessons weren't to take place today. 

"So, uh," started the brunet, and Bill looked up without a word. "Are you going to teach me today, or..."

Smirking, Bill sat up and stretched. "Do you want me to teach you today? The dance isn't for another week or so..."

Hardly daring to believe it, Dipper held his breath and nodded. Bill laughed carelessly and stood up, walking over to Dipper's bed where he was sitting and offering his hand politely. 

"Shall we, m'lady?" Bill asked, his eyes twinkling. Dipper scowled at the feminine nickname.

"M'lady?" he asked, his voice cracking a little with the flood of insecurity. Bill's eyes widened apologetically, and he shook his head.

"No, wait, I didn't mean it like that-" he began, his voice laced with concern. 

"It's fine, don't worry," Dipper replied, snapping a little. He looked away briefly, his eyes filled with brief insecure tears, but wiped them away and took Bill's hand, allowing the blond to pull him out of bed into a standing position. 

"Okay, so, we start like this," Bill remarked, still feeling guilty about his comment, and pulling Dipper close into a hold. They were pressed together, and Dipper barely breathed, his heart thumping below his ribcage. Pretending not to notice how close they were or how obviously nervous Dipper was, Bill stepped into the biggest space in the room, pulling the younger man with him.

"Don't we need music..?" asked the brunet, suddenly realising how silent it was. Merely shrugging, Bill began to step in tune to some melody he had in his head, forcing Dipper to keep up, despite the shorter man feeling like a fool.

After a while, they settled into a rhythm, and Dipper almost started to hear the music that Bill was directing them to, but he wished he could truly hear it. Although he was still stepping on Bill's feet more often than he should, the brunet felt like he was really beginning to understand the dance, but when he looked at Bill, the blonds gaze was stony, and the brunet felt his sadness wash over him once more. 

Hardly wincing when his toes were crushed by Dipper's two left feet, Bill was staring off into the distance, lost in his own mind. His thoughts were cloaked with memories, largely of Pyronica. He hadn't ballroom danced with anyone since her. What would she say if she saw them? 

The two drew to a stop, and Dipper pulled away, gazing at Bill with wonder in his eyes. Bill swallowed, looking anywhere but at Dipper, not daring to reciprocate the wondrous look. 

Without a word, Bill spun around and walked back to his bed, grabbing his book. Dipper stood there for a second, not quite knowing how to feel or what to do, before turning around as well and sitting back on his own bed, pulling out his phone. 

Then a thought occurred to him. Had he ever seen Bill with a mobile phone?

"Bill," he asked cautiously, edging around the blonds bad mood. The latter looked up from his book, the mutter of the words still on his lips. "Do you have a phone?"

"What's it to you?" Bill snapped, returning to whispering his book out loud to himself.

"I was just wondering, because I've never seen you use one..." Dipper continued, and Bill's eye twitched almost imperceptibly.

"No. I don't." the taller man said sharply, not looking up from his book, and Dipper bit his lip, a little confused. Who didn't have a phone? Everyone he knew had one. They just seemed.. necessary. How did Bill communicate?

Maybe it was personal? Dipper had always been taught not to pry into private business, but in all honesty, how DID Bill get anything done?

"Oh. Right."

His mind whirring, Dipper returned to his own phone, as Bill continued to try and read. Icy silence radiated from Bills side of the room, and Dipper got the feeling nothing he said could penetrate the stony mood.  

He still wished he could have heard the music. 

* * *

Over the next week, every time he was alone in their dorm, Dipper practised. 

Whenever he got the chance, he would get himself into the position Bill had showed him, although he felt like a fool without the blond, and begin going over the steps once more. Bill had given him a few more lessons and pointers, but this was something he wanted to do for himself, and for his grump of a roommate. 

Whenever he practised, he would make sure he was alone, stopping the second he heard the door handle turning. But there was one time, a day or so before the dance, when he neglected to check that the door was shut. 

Bill was returning from a trip out. Reaching out his hand to the door handle, he frowned as he noticed that the door was already open, just a crack. Had Pine Tree gone out and forgotten to lock it? 

That was when he heard the muttered curses from indoors, and the soft hum of music, clearly recognisable as coming from Dipper. Pushing the door open a tiny bit, enough for it not to be perceptible, Bill peeked through the crack in the door, and his eyes widened in admiration and surprise.

Dipper was holding the air in the hold Bill had shown him, his face scrunched up with effort and his eyes closed. A soft hum came from his lips as he stepped and twirled around the dorm, clearly unaware that Bill was there, lost in his dancing. The effort on his face lessened as he continued, and his movements began to seem unplanned, gliding across the floor and twirling smoothly, accompanied by the gentle sound of Dipper's singing without words.

This was a whole different side to the brunet, that Bill had never seen before. He was so... content. So peaceful, so graceful, so light on his feet. 

Letting his arms fall out of the hold, Dipper began to twirl and step as though he was completely alone, his eyes still shut and his mouth opening to start singing. Bill felt his heart melt as he heard the song properly, especially as he heard the passion flowing through it. 

Slowly bringing himself to a stop, Dipper opened his eyes and sighed. Bill drew back sharply, not wanting to let Dipper know he was there, but his curiosity got the better of him and he stepped forward once more, looking through the barely open door.

The brunet was humming to himself once again, smiling gently as he straightened out his bed, before walking over to Bill's and doing the same to his. Beginning to twirl once more, Dipper started to clean up the dorm room, his daze from being so happy while dancing still hanging over him. As Bill watched, he didn't realise what was happening to him, but his heart did. 

Watching this young, small brunet, smiling so softly and humming so quietly, spinning and gliding around their dorm room, cleaning up any messes, Bill began to fall almost imperceptibly in love. 

Of course, he would never admit that to himself. He couldn't, with the threats hanging over his head. But his heart realised, and the sight of Dipper Pines began to heal its wounds. 

Once Dipper had cleared everything he could clear, he settled down on his bed and pulled out his phone, and that was when Bill decided to make his entrance and stop standing like a creeper outside. 

As he turned the door handle, for no real reason other than to notify Dipper he was entering, he felt his heart flutter and frowned. That hadn't happened since... well, since Py. 

"Hey Bill," Dipper said, trying to be casual. He was a little out of breath, his cheeks slightly flushed, but he desperately hoped Bill wouldn't notice or comment. To his relief, the blond ignored it, although when Dipper looked closer, it looked almost like his cheeks were flushed as well. 

"Oh, hey there, Pine Tree," Bill said offhandedly, feeling his cheeks blushing. "Have you got your outfit for the dance?"

"Oh, uh, is there anything specific I need?"

Bill forced a laugh, although his gay ass was dying at how adorable Dipper was acting. 

"It's formal," the blond said, trying to push his gay thoughts out of his head. "So you'll need a suit. Or a tuxedo, if you've got one."

"Oh, right," Dipper fumbled, reaching for the suitcase at the end of his bed. It was still annoyingly glittery from the mixup at the start of the year, as something about Mabel's decorations seemed to stay indefinitely. "I should have a suit somewhere..."

As he leant over his bed, Bill held his breath and tried not to look at the brunets ass. Where were these thoughts coming from? He was usually so much more collected about these things. 

"Aha!" Dipper finally said, digging out a black suit and holding it up, grinning. For the first time, Bill noticed a tiny dimple in the younger man's cheek, and felt like slapping himself. He might be going to the dance with this guy, but that didn't mean he should fall in love with him. Before now he had hardly thought about it, had brushed off his feelings as a simple crush, nothing that would last. But what if he really was falling for the brunet? If he was, then he was falling hard, and fast. 

"Cool," he replied, and Dipper's face dropped slightly. "You'll be ready for the dance then."

Dropping down onto his bed, Bill stared at the floor, sensing Dipper moving to put his suit somewhere nearby where he would remember it. The blonds memories were flooding back, most of them vaguely traumatic, and some of them majorly traumatic. Shaking his head to rid himself of the feelings, Bill tried and mostly failed to forget everything he had been told and forced through when he went through  _that._

They didn't speak for a while after that. 

* * *

Shaking ever so slightly, Bill waited in the hall where the dance was being held, watching the guys in their suits and the girls in their fancy dresses go by. He could hear Dippers sister squealing somewhere in the distance, and alongside that there was Pacifica's familiar voice. The blondes voice made him scowl, and he glanced at the door, desperate for Dipper to arrive already. 

As if he had summoned him, the doors opened, and Dipper was standing there. 

Bill's eyes widened. The brunet looked gorgeous, to say the least. His hair was brushed back neatly, revealing his constellation birthmark slightly, and his suit made him look more handsome than ever before. 

"Dipper..." breathed Bill, hardly daring to speak. The brunet laughed and looked away bashfully, blushing. 

"Don't, you'll make me blush," laughed the shorter man, punching Bill's arm playfully. Without thinking, Bill went to rub it, still staring at Dipper, and the brunets eyebrows drew together "Oh, did I hurt you..?"

"Hm?"

Looking down at his arm, Bill realised he was rubbing it when it didn't even hurt, and laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

"No, no, I'm okay. Shall we?"

Offering his arm to Dipper, Bill started to walk further into the hall, and eyes turned to this one lone gay couple. Awkwardly trying to hide from the stares, Dipper ended up burying his head into Bill's shoulder, which just made the staring worse, in all honesty.

But at least they had each other, and that was the important thing, or all that other cliché stuff. 

* * *

After an hour or so of awkward dancing, socialising and eating, Dipper was wondering when this so-called traditional ballroom dance was going to happen. 

"Bill, I-" he started, but Bill shushed him. The blond was staring with wide eyes at a group of people on the other side of the room, who seemed to be pointing and whispering at them. Dipper narrowed his eyes and recognised the pink-haired girl that had been with Bill on Halloween, but none of the others were familiar to him in the slightest. 

"What is it, Pine Tree?" Bill eventually asked, once the group had cleared out of the hall. They all seemed to remain clumped together suspiciously, and Dipper could feel Bill's uncomfortableness with being even in the same room as them. 

"When's this ballroom dance going to happen?"

Looking around, Bill saw quite a few people adjusting their outfits and listening expectantly to the music, and turned back to Dipper, a smirk on his face. 

"I'd say any second now, kid."

Sure enough, after a few moments a new song began playing, clearly distinct from the others. Although all of the songs were similar, this one seemed to hold some significance, as though it was a tradition, and people began to get into ballroom holds.

"This is it, then?" Dipper asked, partly hopeful and partly fearful, as Bill led him on to the dance floor. 

"This is what?" Bill replied amusedly, pulling Dipper close to him, closer than they had ever been in their lessons. He could feel the brunets heart beating, and smiled softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Dipper's forehead. 

"The traditional ballroom dance," replied the shorter man, already breathless. 

Bill simply smirked, and began to dance, forcing Dipper to begin as well. 

They glided across the floor, turning smoothly to the flow of the music. Dipper felt himself spin away from Bill, and then he snapped to a stop, before being pulled back into the strong arms of the blond, surrounded by his warm embrace. They returned to the original position, pressed up close against each other, twirling and spinning and stepping, all to the rise and fall of the melodies in their ears.

Everything around them seemed to drop away. All of Bill's bad memories, all of Dipper's worries, all of their tension towards each other. In their soft bubble of the dance, all that seemed to melt away, and all there was left was each other. 

Dipper didn't know the music, so he was allowing Bill to drive the dance. He would probably have let him anyway, as being led by the blond was one of the nicest sensations he had ever come across. 

Gently slowing to a stop with the swell of the music, Bill dropped Dipper into a dip, supporting his weight close to the ground. Their faces were right next to each others, noses touching, and without even thinking about it, they instinctively reached to get closer, their lips being pushed nearer and nearer. They were about to touch, both of their eyes closing, the bubble of the music still surrounding them-

"Bill."

And the bubble was popped. 

Pulling Dipper back up, Bill scowled, hiding his fear as he saw Pyronica stood in front of them, her arms folded. Making sure to pull Dipper close to him, Bill glared at her, his arm around the brunets waist protectively. 

"What do you want, Pyronica?" Bill snapped, as the music changed back to the other, less important songs. 

"I was actually," Pyronica began, raising one eyebrow. "wondering if I could have a dance."

"No way." Bill said stubbornly, still glaring. The pink-haired girl rolled her eyes, and then focused on Dipper.

"Not with you. With him." she said, raising one perfectly manicured finger to point at Dipper, whose eyes widened in confusion. 

"M-me?" he stuttered, and Bill's grip on his waist tightened. 

"Sorry, but all dances with my boyfriend are reserved for me."

His teeth were gritted as he spoke, and Dipper had to stop himself from turning to look at Bill in disbelief. Pyronicas face twitched and she nodded slowly, turning around. She was somehow terrifyingly threatening, despite never saying a word. 

Bill kept Dipper pinned tight to his side until Pyronica had left the hall. 

* * *

A little while later, the two of them were still in the hall, with Bill refusing to allow Dipper to leave without him. The blond seemed to be paranoid about something, and Dipper had a feeling it was something to do with Pyronica. 

A couple of times already, Wendy and Pacifica had actually come up to Dipper and asked to dance with him. Each time, Dipper had stepped forward eagerly, but Bill had grabbed his wrist and simply repeated his boyfriend line, before glaring at Dipper once the disappointed girl left. 

In truth, Bill knew he should let Dipper go. It would make him feel better, and it would make Wendy and Pacifica maybe hate him a little less, and it would put Dipper in a good mood. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to give up the facade. 

After about an hour of the harsh, possessive treatment, Dipper had had enough. He didn't know why Bills mood had changed so suddenly, and although it reinforced his belief that Bill was bipolar, it pissed him off just how rough the blond had started to act since Pyronica had interrupted their dance. 

"That's it," Dipper eventually muttered, grabbing Bill's arm and dragging him towards the toilets. Pushing him inside furiously, Dipper checked that it was empty and turned to glare at Bill, who was smirking, one eyebrow raised.

"What's brought this on, Pine Tree?" he asked amusedly, and Dipper glared even more. 

"Don't you  _pine tree_ me," he snarled, and Bill physically recoiled. "You've been saying we're boyfriends  _all night._ Not to mention, you've been pushing away people that I would quite like to talk to, you've been acting like you own me or some shit like that, and I'm sick of it! First you act like you're repulsed by anything gay, and now you're trying to act like you're my possessive boyfriend! MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND!"

Bill pulled his eyebrows together, not finding the heart to laugh at the short angry brunet. He pushed him away gently, which caused him to get seemingly even more enraged. 

"It's complicated, alright?" the blond eventually said, looking away. Dipper growled a little under his breath involuntarily, which caused Bill's head to whip back around and look at him. 

"I've had it with your mysterious looks and avoiding my eyes and your  _it's complicated_ and... and... and I'm done with your bullshit!"

With that, Dipper turned around and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving Bill speechless. It was rare that the blond was left without a word, and he narrowed his eyes, trying to hide how hurt he was, despite being alone in the bathroom. 

After a few moments of composing himself, he strode out as well, avoiding his old friends and heading straight for the nearest bar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops I'm late af  
> hah oh well
> 
> You can guess what song Dipper was dancing to (I personally was imagining it as Thousand Years as that's the song I was listening to while writing it)  
> I also imagined the song they dance to together being Cant Help Falling In Love With You because I'm cliché :')
> 
> also oh my GOD this chapter is the gayest one yet I've really outdone myself this time  
> also one of the angstiest once again I've outdone myself


	13. Bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to learn what Bills been bottling up this whole time, and what dark past he's hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare your asses for an onslaught of feels
> 
> I began writing this at 5:30am while listening to Dipper/Jasons version of You'll Be Back from Hamilton  
> I don't even like Hamilton but holy FUCK does Jason have a good voice  
> (it's from the draw-a-thon on the 27th with Jason and Kristen)
> 
> But like I wish they had used Dippers singing voice more bc shit that boi can sing

Dipper was sitting on his bed, furiously trying to wipe away the tears spilling over his cheeks. His anger had mostly dissipated into sadness or neutrality, and the more he thought, the more he regretted his words to Bill. 

Getting up and beginning to pace, the brunet wondered if he had been justified. A lot of what he said  _had_ been true, and that was an undeniable fact. But had Bill really deserved to be yelled at out of nowhere like that? 

Stopping and picking at his nails, Dipper bit his lip. His roommate was grumpy. He was moody, mysterious, unpredictable. Snappy. Dipper could go on, but he shook his head. Sure, his roommate was a lot of things, but weren't a lot of them good, too? 

When you have to wrack your brain to think of something good about someone, it's pretty likely they're a bad person. 

Scowling, Dipper started to pace again, his mind full of confusing thought. He had barely known the blond for a few months. Why should he bother caring? 

He knew why he cared, but he didn't want to admit it. For all he knew, Bill was using him. He didn't know what for, but it was a possibility. 

Sighing and settling back down on his bed, the brunet tried to block out the thoughts and focus on a book. It somewhat worked, and before he knew it, several hours had passed. 

All of a sudden the door burst open and Dipper almost jumped out of his skin. Standing there was Bill, drenched to the bone, shivering violently with his teeth clattering together. From his eyes, he appeared to be drunk, and as Dipper rushed out of bed, a single tear slipped out of Bill's golden eye. 

"Bill, what the hell happened?" Dipper asked, almost kicking himself as he realised how stupid he sounded, especially considering the last thing he had said to Bill. Guilt washed over him as he realised he hadn't even heard the rain start, and maybe he could have stopped Bill from getting so wet and cold. 

Before he could do anything, though, Bill took a step forward and collapsed. On instinct, Dipper held his arms out, and ended up wrapping them around the tall blond, feeling the icy water and sensation of cold pierce his skin, not to mention the suit he had neglected to take off. 

Not allowing Bill to argue, Dipper closed the door, and turned and dug out the hoodie that Bill had worn for a good few days several weeks beforehand. Ignoring the blonds drunken protests, he stripped his top half down and pulled the hoodie over his head. 

Immediately Bill began to warm up, now he wasn't wearing a dripping suit. Without Dipper's prompting, he grabbed some kind of clothing from the pile of clothes at the end of his bed and walked into the bathroom, still shivering a little. Neither of them spoke a word, and yet somehow they didn't need to. 

When Bill returned, he was in what appeared to be black boxers, and Dipper averted his eyes. Without talking, Bill moved to his bed, dumping the freezing outfit on the floor and wrapping himself in his duvet. Despite his best efforts, though, Dipper could see that he was still shivering.

"Bill, I'm sorry," Dipper said, pulling his own duvet off his bed and walking over to Bill's. He flopped down next to him, wrapping the duvet around both of them and shuffling close to Bill's side. "I was in a bad mood, and I-"

"Can I tell you about... things?" Bill suddenly said, sounding like an innocent child, and looking at Dipper with eyes that brimmed with tears. Taken aback, the brunet frowned a little. 

"What kind of things?"

"Things that have happened to me." replied the blond, dropping his gaze again. He cuddled up to Dipper a little more, and the younger man could feel the chill of the leftover cold coming through him. 

"So... like your childhood?" asked Dipper softly, barely breathing. He could hardly believe that this was reality, that even after he had yelled at Bill, the blond was still willing to share. 

Bill nodded, and Dipper put his arm around him, shifting a little until they were cuddled up together comfortably. 

"I hope you don't get sad easily," Bill scowled, a little of his old personality showing through this drunken childish image. Chuckling a little, Dipper wondered what on earth that could mean. 

Taking a deep breath and avoiding the warm brown eyes of his roommate, Bill began to speak. 

* * *

_I was born in Britain, but I don't have a clue whether I'm British by genes or whatever. I didn't exactly... have any parents._

_I was brought up in an orphanage, a heavily religious one at that. Of course, I was always seen as the odd kid, the one to avoid. Yknow that one kid on the playground that everyone spreads rumours about and no one likes? Yeah, that kid was me. I guess it was mostly because of my eyes, but I was always a little bit off, as though I didn't really belong there._

_I didn't last long in the orphanage. I didn't get kicked out or anything like that - can you even get kicked out of an orphanage? - in fact the opposite happened. I ended up getting adopted when I was seven._

_She was an American woman, and she seemed nice enough. She was polite, and kind, and when she told me I would have to move to America I wasn't too bothered as, like I said, I was the weird kid back in the orphanage._

_Everything went okay at first. She was nice, bought me gifts, took me out for nice meals, did everything a mother should. I loved her, in a way._

_Then her love began to run out._

_She began to be cold and harsh, bullying me into things. She told me I would never succeed. The things she said are still... well. I'm sure you can guess._

_Drinks started._

_Forcing ME to drink started._

_I got used to it after a while, accepting it as just the way she did things. Drugs, and alcohol, and forcing me into addictions. But on my thirteenth birthday, I finally decided to come out, and everything fucked up._

_I had been thinking about it for a while, considering whenever I looked at a boy romantically what I was. In the end I settled on pan, and I eventually worked up the courage to tell her._

_As soon as I told her, she slapped me. I had no idea that she was homophobic. She had never mentioned anything to do with gay things._

_After a few days, she informed me that she had got me an appointment with a therapist, that would "fix" my "sinful lifestyle". I went, not because I wanted to or because I thought it would help, but because I wanted to make her happy. I didn't want her to hit me again._

_So I saw the therapist, and they didn't help._

_They forced me into self-hatred, even more than my so called mother already had. They strapped me to chairs and sent electric shocks through me. They did... they did so many horrible things..._

* * *

Choking back a sob, Bill swiped at his eyes to remove the tears collecting there, and Dipper squeezed him close sympathetically. All hatred between them from the dance seemed to have been forgotten, and with a deep breath Bill continued his story. 

* * *

_I escaped, after two long years of pain and self-hatred, thanks to convincing my mother I was cured of all gay thoughts. I wasn't, because conversion therapy is bullshit, but it was the only way to get out._

_She still controlled my life. She was so... so manipulative. Or, I guess just downright abusive. I spent a year drifting in and out of depression, I suppose you could call it. When I was sixteen, though, I met the people I could finally be normal with. Or as normal as a gang could get, I guess._

_It took several years to work my way to the top of the gang, and I was eventually crowned leader when I was eighteen, about to turn nineteen. I had never once told my mother, and I didn't plan to. She still knew me as prim and proper William, her little boy who was always neat and tidy. Although, if I had told her, I doubt she would have cared. Oftentimes she was too drunk to even know who I was._

_During the time I was clawing my way to the top, I began to develop a crush on Pyronica. Eventually the two of us hooked up, and ended up half-dating, neither of us quite sure what we were._

_I remained happily leader of the gang for a year, until just after my twentieth birthday. I was feared by most of the residents of the town, and I guess I was doing quite well for myself, when you consider the alternative._

_But then I messed up big time._

_I ended up getting caught, lumbered with six months in prison while the others skipped off scot free. They barely came to visit me when I was locked up. The one time I remember is when they kicked me through the bars until my bones began to break, spat on my broken body and told me I wasn't welcome with them anymore. They didn't welcome failures who got themselves caught._

_Even Pyronica, the one I had thought would still respect me, told me I wasnt one of them any longer._

_Once I got out of prison, that's when the threats started. I didn't understand them at first, but after a while I realised it was their way of making sure I didn't rat them out to the cops. From what I heard, 8 Ball was the new leader. Pyronica had been for a while, but for whatever reason she had stepped down. She's the only one I'm still on halfway decent terms with, although after everything that's happened I doubt I even have that now._

_They've beaten me up quite a few times since then. I don't complain, because if I had just kept it together, been less reckless, I could have been directing that, watching as some other unfortunate soul got kicked half to death._

_Getting...  raped...  by Pyronica was kind of the last thing to tip me over the edge. I'm going crazy. I can't fall in love, because they'll kill me or them, and if I fall in love with anyone but a girl and my mother finds out I'll be forced back into the hell I spent two years in._

_And now I'm drunk, and you're being far too nice, and you were so angry at the dance, and I fuck up everything, and I just..._

* * *

Burying his head into Dipper's shoulder, Bill started to shake with choking, half-repressed sobs. Shushing him and running a hand through his hair soothingly, Dipper stared into the distance, attempting to comprehend everything that the blond had told him. He still didn't fully understand how Wendy and Pacifica fitted in, but at this point that was the last thing on his mind. 

"It'll be okay," the brunet repeated, running his fingers through his roommates silky blond locks. "It'll be okay. You have me now, and I'm not gonna go anywhere, no matter HOW much you annoy me."

"That's the problem," Bill muttered quietly, his nose and lips pressed against the cold material on Dippers shoulder. "If I get too close to someone, they'll kill them."

"I'm sure they wouldn't stoop to that," reassured the brunet, although his heart was pounding with fear for his own life. "And in that case, why did you tell Pyronica I was your boyfriend?"

"It was the only thing I could think of to make her leave." Closing his eyes gently, Bill exhaled a sigh, and Dipper shivered as he felt the cold breath. 

"You're still cold," he remarked, to change the subject. Bill looked down at his hands, the fingertips of which were starting to turn blue, and frowned a little in confusion, as though he hadn't even noticed. 

"So I am," he said, a note of surprise in his tone. Chuckling, Dipper walked into the bathroom and starting running a hot bath, before coming back to see Bill nestled in duvets, only his tearmarked face peeking out. 

"Cmon, have a bath," Dipper coaxed, as though he was talking to a shy cat. "It'll make you feel better."

"Don't treat me like a child, kid." Bill snapped, and Dipper smiled in relief as the blond jumped out of his blanket cocoon to stalk towards the bathroom. This was the Bill he knew and loved. 

The door shut and locked behind the blond, and Dipper felt curiosity wash over him. Everything in his body was telling him how wrong this was, but he couldn't stop himself from pulling open Bill's bedside table drawer and starting to riffle through. 

Most of the things were nondescript, packs of cigarettes, disposable lighters, a small bottle of alcohol. Right at the bottom, though, Dipper uncovered a photo, seemingly of Bill. 

The blond was scowling, an eye patch over his eye instead of it being covered by his hair. He was wearing formal wear, and Dipper recognised the style from the Bill he knew today, but this Bill was completely different. This must be a photo from when Bill lead the gang. 

Feeling suddenly guilty, Dipper shoved the photo back in the drawer and made sure the items were organised identically to how they were when he opened it, sliding the drawer shut with a pang of regret. He knew how wrong it was to look through other peoples things without permission, and yet it had somehow seemed important at the time. 

Sighing and returning to his own bed, Dipper pulled open the drawer in his own bedside table and shuffled through the tangled mess of headphones and miscellaneous items, to find the photo  _he_ kept in there. 

When he pulled it out, the cheerful smiles of himself, Mabel and their parents met him. Without even realising, Dipper began to compare the photos in his and Bill's drawers. His photo was warm, friendly, the loving grins of his family smiling up at him whenever he looked at it. But Bill's photo... it was lonely, and intimidating. A single scowl, and an icy gaze, and not a hint of family to be seen. Did it reflect them, in a way? 

Maybe he was reading too much into this. 

Settling down, Dipper placed his family photo back into his drawer and pushed it shut, pulling out his phone and hoping that Bill was okay. 


	14. Sick from the Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluffy stuff because fluff is good

A couple of days after Bill had confessed his childhood, Dipper noticed him getting sick. The blond wouldn't admit it, but Dipper could see him struggling to continue keeping his cool, and a couple of times he had heard Bill throwing up in the middle of the night, presumably when he thought Dipper was asleep. 

After a few days, the brunet was sick of hearing Bill's raspy cough and seeing him failing to act healthy, and cornered the blond when he returned from classes. 

"Bill," Dipper started, and Bill stared at him with an eye missing its usual twinkle. "You're sick."

"No I'm not," Bill replied, but a tickle in his throat forced him to cough harshly into his hands, throwing off his tough façade. "I'm fine."

"You got sick from the rain," continued the brunet, following as Bill walked further into the room to take off his shoes. "And you're not doing a very good job of hiding it."

Bill glared at him, but he knew his roommate was right. "What's it to you?" 

"Well, I want you to get better."

Folding his arms, Bill scrunched up his face. He knew just how obvious it was that he was sick, especially since he had taken to wearing hoodies again, instead of his normal composed formal attire. "Why?"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "I don't want a sick, pouty roommate hanging around the dorm. Plus, I don't want to get sick myself."

 _Plus I really care about you,_ a voice in his head nagged. Bill made a disgruntled noise and turned away, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. 

"I'm fine, anyway." insisted the blond, and Dipper scowled. Ignoring Bill's quiet protests, he pressed a hand to the taller man's forehead, and even without a thermometer he could sense that he had a fever. 

"Bill, you're burning up!" Dipper chided, clicking his tongue. Bill shrugged, avoiding eye contact, and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah, whatever," he said uncomfortably. "I get sick a lot. It's no big deal, kid."

Ignoring him, Dipper pushed Bill towards the bed, forcing him down onto it, which caused a smirk and a raised eyebrow from the older man. A twinge of regret went through Dipper as he remembered what had happened last time someone (presumably) forced Bill onto a bed. Silently, he vowed that he would try and avoid anything that might remind Bill of his experiences. 

Then again, Bill had made a joke that had forced him to rethink the whole way he looked and acted. He knew it was a joke, but being called m'lady wasn't really the best thing he could be called. 

Shoving all that out of his mind, Dipper forced Bill to lie down, pulling the duvet over him. 

"You need to get better," Dipper said stubbornly. "You're lucky today is Friday. You have the whole weekend to get better."

"You don't have to do this, kid," Bill murmured, but already he was having to force back a smile at the brunets stubborn attitude. 

"Well, I want to." Putting his hands on his hips, Dipper nodded purposefully and looked at Bill, who could only sigh weakly. 

"Alright, fine. I'll indulge you." the blond said languidly, sniffing. The motion was meant to be disdainful, but he just ended up sounding even sicker. The brunet smiled happily, and Bill was hit with a ray of happiness, pushing him to wonder why Pine Tree was so bothered. 

Humming softly, Dipper crossed the room once more, and settled on his own bed. Bill lay down, and although he didn't want to, he felt his eyes closing slowly, sending him drifting off to sleep. 

* * *

Bill was awoken, who knew how many hours later, by a rising sense of nausea. 

Ripping the duvet off, he stood up, stumbling in the pitch black, but the sudden movement caused his head to spin and blur. Before he knew what had happened, he was on his knees, one hand on his stomach and the other over his mouth. Bile pushed up his throat, and he attempted to push himself up, but as he tried to straighten his body, he involuntarily bent over and expelled the contents of his stomach on the carpet. 

Once his mind had cleared, his focus directed on the vomit in front of him. The smell was starting to prick at his nostrils, and he cast an anxious glance at Dipper's sleeping figure. The brunet had hardly shifted, and Bill exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

"Fuck," he muttered, his hands shaking a little. "How am I going to clean this before Pine Tree wakes up..?"

His body responded to the fear by creating another wave of nausea, and his head shot up. He tore to the bathroom, kneeling on the cold tiles by the toilet and retching into it, again and again. After he had thrown up what felt like everything in his body, he leant against the wall and tried not to panic. 

He could feel his temperature rising, as though it was signifying he needed to get back to bed  _now,_ but he couldn't just leave the puddle of vomit there for Dipper to find - or even worse, for him to step in. His body shook violently, and he tried to rein in his panic, not wanting the night to get any worse. 

".. Bill..?"

The sleepy voice came from the other room, and Bill buried his head in his knees. Pine Tree was awake. The night really couldn't get any worse. 

There was the sound of feet softly padding towards the door, and after a couple of seconds Dipper's head appeared round it. His hair was messy from sleep and his eyes were drooping, signalling that he had only just woken up. 

"What are you doing in here..?" yawned the brunet, not taking in the smell of vomit just yet. Bill glanced up at him fearfully. 

"Uh... D-Dont worry. Go back to s-sleep." he stuttered, childhood memories suddenly fresh in his mind. Whenever he was sick then, his mother... 

Dipper wasn't his mother. 

It was a comforting thought, the realisation that his mother wasn't here, that he was okay, it was just his sleepy nerdy roommate. 

"Are you sure?" the sleepy nerdy roommate in question asked, taking a slightly-more-awake step towards Bill. 

"Y-yes! D-dont come n-near me!" cried the blond, not realising what he was saying until Dipper's face twisted in confusion. It occurred to him that his childhood stutter had returned, but he couldn't be sure if it was really there or if his ears were echoing in his worry. 

"I... What..?"

Dipper stared in bewilderment, and Bill pressed even closer to the wall, wanting to be as small as possible. 

Swallowing hard, he looked up at Dipper as he brushed away the hairs covering his eye. "I j-just... You're r-right, I'm s-sick, and I t-threw u-up on the c-carpet and I didn't w-want you t-to k-know and I..." His words tumbled over each other in their rush to leave his fumbling, stammering mouth. 

Dipper's face softened. "Oh, Bill," he said softly, reaching out to the curled up blond the same way he would approach a startled animal. "Why are you curled up in the bathroom?"

"I felt s-sick a-again, but t-then y-you came i-in and I..." 

Shoving his head into his knees, Bill could feel helpless tears running down his cheeks. 

"I-it made m-me think o-of m-my m-m-mother."

Dipper had to strain to hear the muttered words, but when he did his face contorted into surprise and pity. Taking Bill's arm, he gently pulled the blond upwards, trying to be as soft and slow as possible. 

Bill followed him like a zombie as Dipper led him to his bed, settling him down and pulling the duvet over him. Staring blankly, Bill could vaguely hear the toilet flushing, and Dipper gagging as he got cleaning products and began trying to do something about the vomit staining the carpet. 

A flash of gratitude and insecurity ran through him, and he pulled the duvet over his face, not wanting to see the brunet being forced to deal with his illness. 

 _You've been strong for so long and then this kid comes along and ruins it all,_ his mind yelled at him.  _You used to be so weak, and then you got strong, and now you're weak again, you **idiot.**_

The sound of gagging was replaced with a soft singing, although it sounded like the singers nose was plugged. Peeking from his duvet nest, Bill saw that Dipper was singing as he cleaned, two fingers pinching his nose shut. 

Noticing Bill looking at him, Dipper smiled at the blond. "I'm used to cleaning up Mabel's vomit," he explained, trying to make it a little less awkward. "She eats glitter a lot."

Bill giggled a little at how silly the brunet sounded with his nose plugged, and then turned over to face the wall instead. 

The quiet singing continued for a little while until it stopped, and Bill wasn't sure if it was because he was falling asleep or if Dipper had stopped. 

In any case, after a while he was falling once again into a feverish dreamland. 

* * *

When he awoke, Bill had to blink dried tears out of his eyes. He turned over, to face into the room, and saw something vaguely on his bedside table, blurry with the shadow of sleep still hanging over him. 

When he came to, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, noting that the room was empty. There was a small piece of paper stuck to his bedside table, though, and next to it there was a bottle of medicine. Picking up the note, he scanned it quickly, and couldn't help the smile that formed on his face. 

_Morning! I had to run out to do some shopping, but there's medicine if you need it! Don't have too much, and try and look after yourself!_

_-Dipper_

Next to his name, Dipper had doodled a little pine tree, and Bill grinned. The gesture was so sweet it almost hurt, as his mind reminded him how weak the brunet had rendered him. 

Picking up the medicine, he briefly read the dosage chart on the label, before shrugging and removing the cap. Ignoring the dosages, he brought the bottle to his lips and swigged the bitter-tasting liquid, before shuddering and wiping his lips with his sleeve. 

 _That's your old devil-may-care self,_ his mind said approvingly, even as he cringed at the vocabulary choice.  _Devil-may-care?_ Was Dipper rubbing off on his language choices, too? 

Pulling open his bedside table drawer, he shuffled through the items until his scrabbling fingers closed around the photo. He drew it out of the drawer and looked at it, sighing. 

Photograph-Bill scowled out at him, menacing. His head tilted slightly, Bill studied the photo. 

_Where did that person go?_

_Oh, right. It was lost when I lost the others._

It seemed... unnerving. To look at a photo of someone that was undeniably himself, albeit from years before, and see someone completely different... 

_Am I... better off, now?_

Memories of panic attacks and being beaten up ran through his head, and his immediate answer was  _no._ But then, Dipper ran through his head. Meeting the kid and striking up what was some kind of touchy relationship had definitely helped him through some stuff, but could he really trust the brunet..? 

Sure, Pine Tree had helped him when he was anxious, when he was sick. He had listened as Bill rambled about his childhood, he had understood, he had been a rock to hang on to. But did he really... did he really like the blond? 

Biting his lip, Bill wondered if it would be easier if he just begged the gang to take him back, maybe intimidated them, proved himself as worthy. 

Twisting over, he dropped the photo on the floor and buried his face into his pillow, considering screaming but deciding against it as he felt the scratchiness in his throat. 

_Fuck, why are emotions so complicated?_

* * *

After a little while, Bill had settled into reading a book, still feeling like shit. Noticing the door handle turning, he glanced up and watched as Dipper pushed his way in, carrying a couple of bags of shopping. 

"Hey," he said, breathless. Meeting Bill's half-gaze, half-glare, he frowned in confusion. "Something wrong?"

"N-no," Bill said cryptically, returning to reading and scowling as he realised his stutter was still there. Dipper shrugged and dumped his bags on his bed, digging inside them. 

"Did you have any medicine?" he asked casually, starting to pull out tins of soup and cough sweets. 

Bill nodded, before remembering that Dipper was facing away from him. "Y-yeah."

"Did it help?"

"A-a little."

_Why are you being so nice to me?_

"Well, I brought you some stuff." Turning around, Dipper had his arms full of stuff. Bill glanced at them all. Tins of soup, bags of cough sweets, little boxes of tablets, essentially everything you could possibly need to get better. 

"I can't a-afford all t-this," Bill said as his face twisted into a frown. Dipper made a snorting noise and walked over, dropping some of the things on Bill's bedside table and putting the rest at the end of his bed. 

"Don't be silly," the brunet said, returning to the other bag of shopping. "I bought them for you."

"But.. I have to p-pay you back." Bill said in confusion. Dipper turned around, holding a new hoodie and ripping the tag off. 

"Don't be silly," he said, pulling off the hoodie he was wearing and slipping on the new one. "Do you like my new hoodie, by the way?"

Bill read the writing on it.  _Mystery Hunter._ "It's g-great," he remarked, opening one of the bags of cough sweets apprehensively and throwing one into his mouth. 

Dipper beamed. "I'm glad you like it! They had a sweater version, too, but Mabel would have been offended that I bought one and didn't let her make me one."

As he rambled, Bill's face settled into a scowl. He was desperate to be friends with the nerd, but he was held back by his own fear and hostility from years of being with  _them._

"You don't have to try and help me anymore, so I'd stop if I were you." he suddenly said, inwardly cheering that his stutter had gone. That meant he could regain his confident composure. But he instantly regretted it as he saw Dipper's face fall, and his hands drop from where he had been speaking with them. 

"Oh. Okay." Pine Tree said stiffly, turning around and silently continuing to unpack his own shopping. Bill could have kicked himself. The cough sweet in his mouth suddenly felt and tasted disgusting. 

Neither of them spoke, but Bill could sense the hurt feelings from Dipper from across the room. He wished he could help, but the idea of getting out of bed made his head swim, and he remembered that he was sicker than he felt. 

A few moments passed, and Dipper looked like he was on the edge of settling on his bed, sending Bill's heart leaping in hope. But then he walked to the door, and casting one last hurt glance at the blond sitting in bed, he left. 

Bill was left sitting there, feeling guilty, surrounded by things bought out of Dipper's own money to make him better, that he had basically refused. 

Why did he always fuck up so badly? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually somehow this turned into angst as well as fluff
> 
> sighhh
> 
> also that stutter would be cute if it wasn't from childhood trauma  
> trauma isn't cute or good in any way  
> just a psa


	15. Sweaters and Money Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been ages yes yes shush
> 
> changed my username to angelheartbeat properly bc spookyscaryskelesans was from when I was massively into undertale and I was sick of it
> 
> this gets kinda dialogue-heavy in parts but whatever backstory is worth it right

Pacifica blinked away the sleepy dust in her eyes and sat up. A clicking sound came from across the room, rhythmic and calming. The blonde pushed her fringe out of her eyes and made a mental note to book a haircut before glancing over at her roommate. 

Mabel was sat up in bed, smiling softly as she worked away. Knitting needles were in her hands, and Paz watched in fascination as she expertly stitched away, impossibly fast. She was nestled in balls of wool and inexplicable piles of what looked like llama hair, glitter sprinkled across her bed. 

"What are you doing, Mab?" Pacifica asked, her voice scratchy from sleep. The brunette jumped and stopped knitting, scrabbling around to hide the needles and wool. 

"Uh, nothing-" she said desperately, grinning and nervous. Paz chuckled and leant on her hand, reflecting on how much both of them had changed since they became friends - but at the same time, not at all, really. 

"You know I don't mind you knitting anymore."

"Yeah, well, this thing is different."

They went quiet, which was uncharacteristic for Mabel. After a few moments, she cautiously pulled out her needles again and continued knitting, seemingly trying to hide it from Pacifica. 

The blonde smirked. "You're such a fucking nerd."

Shrugging awkwardly, Mabel winced as she shoved the needle into the pad of her thumb. "You could join me if you lightened up once in a while."

"What, join you in being a fucking nerd? No thanks."

"My brothers more of a nerd. I think of myself as an artist."

"Your art is ridiculous. But I suppose joining you wouldn't be totally fucking boring."

"You never know, it could be fun..."

"What?"

Mabel focused on her stitches for a moment, tongue sticking out in her concentration. After a moment she looked up, shrugging. "I could teach you to knit, or something?"

Keeping her hands perfectly folded, Pacifica attempted to contain her excitement. "T-Teach me to knit..?"

"Yeah!" Mabel was getting excited, dropping her needles and jumping out of bed. She brushed glitter from her hair and bounded over to Pacifica's bed, holding out a hand. "Christmas is coming up! You could make some gifts!"

"I'm probably the richest college student in America."

"Well, sometimes it's nice to put love instead of money into something! Cmon, let's skip class just for today and have a knitting lesson. It'll be fun!"

Mabel looked at Paz, begging with her eyes, and Paz rolled her own, and reluctantly took Mabels hand, letting the brunette drag her out of her cozy duvet cocoon. 

* * *

_How did we get here?_

Pacifica frowned as she poked the needle through yet another stitch, her hands trembling. Somehow, several hours had passed, and the two of them were sat on their dorm room floor, surrounded by balls of wool and glitter. Mabel had completed whatever she was knitting that morning, but she still refused to show the blonde, and that was immensely frustrating for someone who always got what they wanted. 

The rich blonde had almost finished her mess of a sweater, massive holes from dropped stitches in almost every row, and stitches messed up all over the place. As she finished stitching, Mabel took the mess of wool and began to stitch it together, so it made a vague sweater shape. 

Pacifica cringed when she saw the finished product. 

"Holy shit, thats fucking awful."

The 'sweater' was a mess of tangled wool and holes, barely visible as a sweater at all. Obnoxious colour choices made it up, clashing all over the place, and for someone with the fashion sense of Pacifica Northwest, it was even worse than an abomination. 

"I think it's great! Especially for a first try!" Mabel grinned, her cheerfulness infectious, forcing Paz to smile back. 

The blonde did a double take when she saw Mabel pulling the sweater over her head, wiggling her body to fit the misshapen wool. 

"What are you doing..?" Pacifica asked cautiously, not quite sure. The brunette smiled and pulled her hair out of the back, her own sweater still underneath her roommates attempt. 

"Motivation!"

Mabel seemed to consider that a sufficient answer, her grin remaining, while Pacifica's perfect eyebrow slowly raised. 

"What..?"

"If I wear what you make, you'll be inspired to make more, because people like it! Then you'll get even better!"

Paz couldn't help herself. She burst out in laughter, her natural laugh sounding sarcastic and mean. Mabel's face fell at the mocking sound, looking down at herself with sudden self-doubt.

"Do you... not think it's a good idea..?"

Pacifica's eyes flew open. "What? Oh god no, it's adorable! I love it!"

"R-really..?!"

The smile on Mabels face almost caused Pacifica to melt. 

* * *

"You know, I really think you're improving!"

Blinking out of her focused daze, Paz glanced up at Mabel, already wearing her third Pacifica-made sweater. The blonde looked down at the warm metal in her hands, soft pink wool stitched carefully across them. The work still had it's fair share of dropped and messed up stitches, but it was certainly a thousand times better than her first, discarded attempt. 

Pacifica didn't reply, but turned her head back down to lean over her work. Once her hair had fallen to cover her face from Mabel's view, she allowed a wide grin to form itself. 

"Of course I am," she said, amusement and long-standing ego evident in her voice. The shadow of a blush flitted across her cheeks. 

"I wonder what Dipper's been doing today," Mabel mused, rocking back and forth gently. Her expert fingers deftly stitched her own wool, ten times the speed Pacifica was knitting, and ten times the quality. She didn't even have to look. 

Chuckling, Paz glanced up at her. "Your nerd brother? Probably classes."

"Who else? There's only one Dip. And yep, wouldn't be surprised."

"Loads of my 'friends' talk about him. Mostly jealous that he gets to share a room with Bill, but you know."

Mabel picked up on the inverted commas in Pacifica's voice when she said friends, but with the tact of a professional she didn't bring it up. "He doesn't seem particularly happy about it."

"Yeah, well, Bill's a fucking mess." Pacifica scowled, and her fingers inadvertently slipped, sending the needle flying into her finger. Wincing, she glared at her hands and then exhaled a resigned breath. "He and I were... acquaintances."

"I didn't know you knew him!"

There was genuine surprise in Mabels voice, which threw Paz off slightly. A slight laugh escaped her as she looked at Mabels overdramatic shocked face. 

"I didn't, not really," replied the blonde uncomfortably. Biting her tongue, she forced herself to pick up the needles once more, continuing where she left off. 

"Man, I'd love to be friends with Bill," Mabel said wistfully, her voice carrying a lilt that hinted she wanted to know more. Sighing exasperatedly, Pacifica wrapped the slack wool around the ball and placed her needles aside, figuring Mabel wouldn't let this go until she got her gossip. 

"We weren't friends, Mabel. We had some kind of relationship, yes, but we weren't friends. I don't mix with his kind."

"What do you mean by his kind?"

Biting her lip, Pacifica considered her choice, before setting her jaw and opening her mouth once more. "A gang, Mabel. He had his friends, and I had mine. We had... something. Certainly not a friendship." 

"Did you...  _do it?_ "

Pacifica couldn't help her laugh at the innocence in Mabels voice, and her genuine childishness. "Have sex? Yes. But we never liked each other. He had a girlfriend."

Mabels eyes widened. "And you still..?"

"I didn't know, Mabel, it was hardly my fault. I regret it. We haven't talked more than a few insults in months."

"So what happened?" Mabel said in a hushed tone, her eyes wide and curious. Pacifica picked at her nightdress hem, only then realising she hadn't changed out of the thing she slept in.

"We parted ways. Didn't speak after that."

"But _why?_ "

"If you must know, my father forbade me from speaking to him again. I didn't know any more beyond that."

"Do you miss him?"

"Of course not. Like I said, he was a fucking mess. He spent half his time drunk off his ass and the other half high as balls. Occasionally he'd be both. And he wasn't even good in bed." Pacifica pulled a comical face at the last sentence, her features contorted in melodramatic disgust. Mabel giggled, but then settled back into her 'interesting conversation' position. 

"Well, do you hate him?"

"l guess. He wasn't exactly the best person he could be."

Tilting her head, Mabel looked at Paz with bright eyes, narrowing them slightly. Her mind was whirring, trying to put things together along with what she knew about Bill. She was itching to get to Dipper and tell him about it, and try and figure out just what was going on, knowing her natural curiosity would never let her forget about this until she knew everything. 

Pacifica must have read Mabel's mind, because she smirked. "You better not tell Dipper about this."

"Aww, nuts."

"I'm not telling you anything else. Its my personal business."

"Pleeeaaasseee?"

Pacifica tried to avoid Mabel's eyes, but couldn't help looking at them. They pleaded her to tell more, desperately searching for answers, and Paz felt her face deepen into a scowl. 

"You're too persistent for your own good, Pines." Pacifica mumbled, and Mabel sat up excitedly, knowing that meant she had won. "Fine, whatever. The fucker deserves his shit to be spilled."

Mabel put down her needles as well and settled down, holding onto a pillow and getting comfortable. Pacifica sat on her knees, fiddling with her nightdress, and started to tell her everything. 

* * *

Bill swallowed hard as he read the letter, red ink scrawled across the envelope and writing. It screamed out at him about rent, and he knew that he was at least a month overdue, but he just couldn't fucking afford it. 

 _Got nowhere else to go,_ he thought, anxiety causing a wave of nausea. He knew it was true, he didn't have anywhere he could go save for his mothers, and there was no chance of that happening. But on the other hand, he couldn't afford his rent for the dorms, and on top of that he was forced to pay up to the gang, not to mention various other purchases... 

His teeth clenched as he read the letter again, and again, and again. Furiously, he wiped a tear away, and screwed the letter into a crumpled ball, tossing it across the room towards the trash can and missing by a mile. 

He didn't want to go and pick it up, so he simply grabbed the next piece of paper on his bedside table, feeling even sicker as he read it. 

 _Just another empty threat from the gang_ , he told himself. _They won't really do anything._

But he couldn't help feeling scared as he threw this piece across the room as well, getting it straight in the trash can first try. 

* * *

Dipper dumped his backpack, stretching out his shoulders and wincing. Bill was stretched across his bed lazily, seemingly not seeing the shorter brunette. The brunette in question was just fine with that, still a little hurt and confused by how Bill had acted when he was sick, barely a day or so beforehand. 

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Dipper wondered once again how Bill survived without one. It just seemed so necessary, somehow. As he stared down at the slightly glowing screen, an idea struck him, and he tried not to smile. Bill barely glanced up, supposedly focused on picking at his blanket. 

"I didn't see you around school today, Bill," Dipper said, forcing his voice to sound cheerfully inquisitive. The blond simply shrugged and continued picking. Feeling awkward, Dipper made his way to his bed, and the second he sat down Bill stood up and made his way to the bathroom, closing and locking the door without a word. 

After a moment, Dipper noticed a screwed up piece of paper next to the trash can, and scowled. Mess had started to bother him far more than it used to, and he was irritated that he had become such a neat freak.

Despite that, he forced himself back up and made his way over, squatting and reaching for the paper. As his fingers brushed over it, red ink seemed to jump out at him, and he had a moment of curiosity. 

 _When did I become so sneaky?_ he wondered, even as he unscrewed the ball of paper, casting nervous glances at the bathroom door. 

Quickly, he scanned the paper and sharply inhaled, his hands trembling. Somehow, he managed to force himself to screw up the paper again, throwing it in the trash where he assumed it was meant to be. Straightening his body, Dipper made his way back to his bed, staring at the ceiling wonderingly until Bill opened the bathroom door grumpily a few moments later. 

* * *

The next morning, Bill awoke with fear in his gut. He rolled over, knowing at some point he would be forced to get up and face his money troubles, and troubles in general, but for now he was warm, and safe, and he didn't have to worry. Of course, that didn't mean he didn't. 

When he eventually rolled over and sat up, rubbing his eyes, the stupor of sleep was gone, and he had fully remembered everything. Just as he was about to run to the bathroom to throw up, not for the first time in a while, he noticed a pile of something on his bedside table, and looked at it blearily. 

After a moment, he realised it was money. A lot of it. Enough to pay his rent, and then some. 

Bile and gratitude rose in his throat as he stared at the wad of dollars, questioning why anyone would do that. He didn't know quite why, but after a moment his eyes flicked to the trash bin. 

His suspicions were confirmed when he saw that the balled up letter had disappeared from it's spot beside the bin, and he trained his gaze on Dippers figure next. The brunette was oddly still, clearly faking being asleep, and Bill narrowed his eyes. 

"I know you're awake, Pine Tree." he said, a hint of danger in his voice. If anything, Dipper's 'sleeping' figure stiffened, but he didn't give any other sign of having heard.

 _That fucking kid,_ Bill thought, oddly angry at Pine Tree, simply for his constant selflessness. On the one hand, he didn't want to accept the money, but on the other he had no other way to pay his rent, unless he managed to win back the favour of the Northwests - and with how him and Pacifica left off, there was no chance of that happening. 

"You can take your money back, you know." Bill said, his voice softer. Dipper's body relaxed a degree, but he was still noticeably tense. Clearly not the greatest actor in the world. 

Clenching his teeth, the blond stood up, making his way into the bathroom and shutting the door, locking it and sliding down the wall. Outside, he could hear Dipper standing and rushing to get ready, obviously forgoing his normal bathroom routine as Bill heard the door opening and closing. Unless he had already been out that morning, perhaps to get the money. That would make sense, seeing as he had been in all evening. 

Cautiously unlocking the bathroom door, Bill looked around it, to see an empty room. Of course. 

And the money was still on his bedside table. Of  _course._

Swallowing his pride, Bill picked up the cash and sighed. He could do anything with this. It was a lot of money, and it scared him to think that anyone would willingly give up that much for him. 

He pocketed it. 

* * *

That night, when Dipper returned from classes, Bill was nowhere to be found, along with the money. He couldn't quite tell if that was a good or a bad thing, but when he went to sit on his bed he noticed a post it note on his bedside table. He picked it up and read it quickly, a smile growing on his face. 

He went about his daily routine with a smile that day, the note still fresh in his mind as he settled to do his homework, occasionally wondering just where Bill was, anyway. 

He kept it on his bedside table when he went to bed, dreaming of Bill when he finally fell into a fitful rest. 

 

 

**_Thanks._ **

**_-B_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paz just cant say no to the puppy dog pines
> 
> this was, yet again, all over the place  
> apologies apologies
> 
> im like 97.3% sure this is actually kind of developing now so yay  
> him pocketing it was symbolic I doubt his pyjamas have pockets anyway
> 
> but yay kinda fluff mabcifica and angsty billdip  
> my specialities


	16. Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay before this starts I just wanna say I know lots of people hc the pines family as jewish and dont get me wrong i love love love that headcanon!  
> buuut i wanna write the holidays and im scared if i write about Hanukkah I'll get things wrong whereas i know all about christmas  
> and lest we forget alex hirsch said himself we can write and draw whatever we like and the pines family are not canonically jewish so im not going against canon persay  
> so just for the sake of this fic they're all atheist! it's easier and atheists generally celebrate christmas (speaking as an atheist who celebrates it myself)  
> omg that was so long okay im gonna shut up now just read this with the idea that they're all atheist bc I dont wanna mess up any religious beliefs!!

"So you're not going home for Christmas, Pine Tree?"

Dipper sighed, a pen between his teeth as he stared down at a blank essay. Bill lounged on his bed as always, watching Dipper with his one-eyed gaze. Break had officially started, and there were only a few days until Christmas. 

"I already told you, Mabel and I decided we should stay out here for Christmas itself. We're going home for new years." the brunet replied, groaning and tossing the pen aside. "Also, why the fuck is there homework over break?"

Shrugging and smirking, Bill sat up a bit and continued to keep his gaze on Dipper. "How is your sister, anyway?"

"She's good.." replied the brunet cautiously, eyeing Bill apprehensively. "Why are you wondering..?"

"Jeez, cant a guy wonder about someone without being questioned?"

Pretending to consider it for a second, Dipper leant over and grabbed his pen again. "No."

"Oh, Pine Tree," Bill lamented, mock-dramatically. "Such severity!"

The brunet cast the blond a disapproving glance. "Dont you have homework to be doing?"

"Technically, yes. But fuck that. What're you getting people for presents?"

Sighing, Dipper could hardly contain his smile. The Bill he had met at the start of the year had returned, along his subtle flirting and wit. Dipper had to admit, he had missed the jerk, even though it was sad that their developing closeness seemed to have turned back into playful banter rather than meaningful conversations.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he said mysteriously, leaning over his blank page and pressing the pen to the first line. 

"Well, yes, I would. That's why I asked."

"Alright, fine. I got Mabel more wool and glitter, she's always complaining she doesn't have enough, and some other stuff she's been wanting. Books and stuff for our parents, a plaid shirt for Wendy - I hope I got her size right - some perfume for Pacifica, even though she probably already has it, and some miscellaneous stuff for my other friends." Careful not to mention his present for Bill, Dipper was perceptive enough to pick up his face falling ever so slightly, and had to fight his urge to blurt out the surprise. "You?"

"Let's see.. There's no one I'm really getting presents for. Oh yes, I'll probably get something for Pacifica and Wendy-"

Dipper's pen skidded across the page, and he scowled at the line it left, before looking up at Bill in disbelief. "I thought you hated them!"

"I do!" A manic glint was present in Bill's eye, and Dipper recoiled naturally. "It'll probably be a poisoned cake, or a box of spiders, or something like that. A sweet little calling card."

"I'm worried about you, man," Dipper muttered, grabbing another piece of paper to start his essay over. The comment was thrown out loosely, no real meaning behind it, but Bill felt himself tense, biting the inside of his cheek. They fell silent, Dipper working on his assignment and Bill lazing on his bed, hardly taking his eyes off Dipper until eventually the brunet finished, and by then they had relaxed more, and began chatting aimlessly. 

* * *

Dipper was awoken on Christmas morning by the incessant blaring of his cellphone, lost somewhere in the sheets of his bed. It took him a few seconds to find it, his bleary state dazed, before eventually he picked it up and accepted the call without even looking at who it was. 

"Hello..?" he mumbled, grimacing as he vaguely smelt his own breath and made a mental note to brush his teeth asap. 

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

The tinny sound of his sister screaming her greeting down the line awoke Dipper more than the frantic hunt for his phone, and once he had recovered from his temporary deafness, he chuckled. "Merry Christmas, sis."

"I LEFT YOUR PRESENTS OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM AND I EXPECT MINE A.S.A.P!!"

"Alright, alright, I'll bring them over soon. I'll bring Paz hers as well. Did you get Bill anything?"

"Yeah, it's labeled. Yellow wrapping."

"He'll like that."

"Anyway, me and Paz are planning on having a knitting race-

**I never agreed to that!!**

YES YOU DID! Gotta go, Dipdip! We'll talk later, okay! Promise!"

Dipper chuckled at the indignant barely-audible sound of Pacifica's protest. "See ya, Mabel. Merry Christmas!"

There was the familiar beep of his sister hanging up, and he fell back into a lying position with a smile. They normally talked for much longer on Christmas morning, but this time was the first one they had been apart at the start of the day. The thought wiped Dipper's smile off his face pretty quickly. 

Before he could get melancholy, though, he forced himself out of bed and to the room door, opening it to find a pile of presents at his feet. Most of them were wrapped in Mabel's favourite pink glittery paper, although one rather large one was wrapped in plain yellow paper, with a label saying Bill, of course in glitter gel pen. 

Dipper smiled widely and picked up the presents, putting them down on the table and creeping over to Bill. He tapped the blond on the shoulder, almost not wanting to wake him up, he looked so peaceful. But he forced himself to wake up his roommate, and it wasnt long before Bill was training his sleepy gaze on Dipper. 

"Oh. Hey, Pine Tree." he murmured, his eyes drooping. 

"Merry Christmas," Dipper replied, gesturing to the small pile of presents. Recognising the pink glittery colours, Bill grinned.

"Your sister went all-out."

"Actually, she's reined herself in this year. But there's one for you."

Sitting up interestedly, Bill pulled himself out of bed and softly padded after Dipper to the pile of presents. The two of them sat down opposite each other, Dipper surrounded by pink boxes and Bill simply holding the one. 

"Dyou wanna open yours first or should I start mine?" Dipper asked, unsure of the etiquette. Usually with him and Mabel they just ripped off the paper at the exact same time, but perhaps Bill did things differently? 

"I dont mind, kiddo," Bill said indifferently, his eyes lidded. Dipper smiled and started opening up the presents, his genuine excitement at each one evident. Bill leant over his own present, a lopsided smirk on his face, but his smile wasnt mean-spirited. It was simply amused by Dippers happiness, although Bill could tell that in honesty his own heart was beating out of his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he had ever been given a present in an actual box, with wrapping paper and a ribbon and a label with his name on it, all for him, no one else. The few presents he had been given in his life had hardly ever been wrapped, and he often had to share them, or simply give them up, for varying reasons. 

But here was something wrapped beautifully, all for him, from someone he certainly didnt deserve a gift from. Pine Trees sister was one of the most loving people he had ever met, that was for sure. 

Eventually, Dipper came to the end of his presents, and looked eagerly at Bill, who was forced out of his internal monologue. 

"Go on, then," the brunet urged, and Bill looked down at the box in his lap. "Open it."

With trembling hands, Bill reached for the ribbon and tugged at it, unravelling the careful bow. He almost winced at the work being lost, but Dipper seemed unfazed. Frowning, he dug his nails under the tape holding it together, determined not to rip the paper. This was the first proper gift he had memory of, having blocked out his mother's gifts, and he was determined not to ruin Mabels hard work, but Dipper seemed impatient. 

"Just rip it, dude," he said as Bill tugged the paper away carefully. "What's holding you back?"

"Maybe I'm not as much of a savage as you are," Bill replied amusedly, pointing out the torn and mangled wrapping paper strewn around their crossed legs. Dipper shrugged and leaned forward eagerly, seemingly just as excited as Bill. 

Pulling the lid off the box, the blond could see tissue paper inside, and plunged his hands in, reaching past the fluttery layers. His fingers landed upon fabric, that felt like wool, and he carefully lifted out the soft object. 

It fell into shape as he held it up, and he inhaled sharply. It was a sweater. A beautiful one. The wool was a soft gold, not the harsh yellow Bill typically wore, and it had an eye lovingly stitched on the front, above a bow tie and brick pattern. It was in no way garish or over the top, and it was incredibly un-Bill - but at the same time, it exactly fit his character. 

"That's... Beautiful." Dipper said, collecting his thoughts. Bill simply nodded, holding the soft fabric up against his torso. 

"I dont know if you saw, but.."

Dipper reached into his pile of gifts and pulled out another sweater, this one blue. It had a pine tree on the front in place of the eye and other decor Bill's held, but it was still gorgeous. They must have taken forever. 

"She said in a note with it that she heard about you calling me Pine Tree," Dipper continued, his face pulling into a scowl. Bill chuckled. "I guess this was her plan all along."

It didnt take long before the two of them were in their sweaters, Bill still gently stroking the wool stitching, hardly daring to believe it.

"Anyway," Dipper said, excitement pounding in his stomach. "There's one more gift."

Bill glanced up, looking for the telltale pink paper of Mabels presents, but instead Dipper was reaching under his bed, and pulling out a simple blue polka dot present, much smaller than Mabel's. The wrapping was messier, less practised, but once again there was a label on it reading Bill. 

"You guys are so sweet," Bill chuckled, playing it off as joking, but the sentiment was real. 

"Open it," the younger man urged, pushing the gift towards Bill. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped very well, and the paper isn't great, but.. Well, just open it."

Laughing, Bill did as he was told, but once the paper was torn off with careless abandon, unlike the sweater, he couldn't stop his hands shaking. He was holding a box with a mobile phone inside it, the very first mobile phone he had ever owned, over 20 years into his life. 

"It's already been charged up and everything, and I.. Uh, I put my phone number into it. Yknow, in case you ever need me." Dipper was blushing and mumbling, staring at the floor. The silence from Bill was deafening. 

Eventually, the blond spoke. "Thank you."

"Huh?"

"I dont deserve this, but thank you." Looking back up at the blond, Dipper's eyes widened. Bill's eyes were welling up with tears. "You've already given me all that money, and I just... thank you. So much. For everything."

"You're welcome, man... I just... I wanna help, yknow?" Dipper said awkwardly, not entirely comfortable with Bill's sudden gratitude. He was even more shocked when Bill put down the box and leapt forward, throwing his arms around the brunets neck and burying his face into Dippers neck.

"Merry Christmas, Pine Tree."

Dipper smiled, putting his arms around Bill and hugging him close.

"Merry Christmas, Bill." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop okay so this was meant to be longer and include mab and paz being mab and paz as well but thats going to be the next chapter instead (posted much sooner!!) just bc this chapter ended on a rlly nice note
> 
> (oh and bill got something for dip but you cant find out what yet! youll know soon enough it'll be in the next chapter im pretty sure)
> 
> but yeah the next chapter will pretty much all be mabcifica with a bit of billdip in the background too probably idk we'll see what happens
> 
> sorry it's been so long!!


	17. Expensive Anonymity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so godDAMn sorry this was meant to be updated forever ago but I had no inspiration
> 
> HAVE GAYS
> 
> ill hopefully update again soon ive got ideas this chapter was just kicking my ass

"Pacifica, wake UP!"

Bleary blue eyes blinked open sleepily, only to be greeted with the grinning face of a brunette in a fluffy light-up Christmas tree sweater. Squeaking, Pacifica shrunk back from Mabel's face barely inches from her own, glaring at the excited girl. 

"Mabel, you almost gave me a heart attack!" the blonde complained, sitting up as Mabel pulled her face back, laughing sheepishly. 

"Aww, sorry Paz. But its CHRISTMAS!"

Blinking herself fully out of her sleepy daze, it took Pacifica a moment to process the sentence, and even when she did she hardly cracked a smile. Mabel started blabbing on, clearly distracted by the enormity of Christmas. 

"So I was thinking we should open our presents as soon as possible, because I just cant wait, and then we can play some games and have a knitting race and invite Dipper and Bill-" At the other blonds name, Pacifica's nose scrunched up in disgust automatically. "- it'll be fun, don't make that face! Anyway, we should try and fit in as much as possible today because there's the dance tomorrow and we won't have time to do anything and I'm going to call Dipper I cant believe I haven't done that yet!"

With that, Mabel slid off Pacifica's bed and raced across the room to her phone, dialling her brothers number. Pacifica didnt respond much, simply protesting when Mabel mentioned the knitting race and starting to make herself look respectable. It didn't take long, and before a minute or two was up Mabel was bounding back across the room to grab Pacifica's arm and pull her to sit down in the middle of their room.

"So?" Paz asked, one perfect eyebrow raising slowly. Mabel giggled, reaching under her bed for a pile of pink and blue wrapped presents, which she pushed towards Pacifica with an eager smile. Three beautiful gifts, that pulled Paz's face into a smirk.

"Open them," the brunette urged, feeling a slight pang of hurt that Pacifica didn't return with a present. The blonde chuckled, pulling the pile towards her and reaching for the bow on the first one. She was hugely flattered, having never been presented gifts with such enthusiasm. Presents in the Northwest household were more of a chore than anything, never usually picked with love but instead picked with money. As her hands shifted aside layers of tissue paper, though, they were greeted with what felt like... fur? Or hair?

She picked it up, almost laughing out loud as she saw the sweater properly. It was made with what looked like llama hair, an image of the animal stitched onto the front. Looking up at Mabel, she raised her eyebrows. "Why a llama?"

"They're stubborn and blonde!" Mabel fired back, her smile faltering a little. "Don't you want it?"

"No, I'll take it. Ya nerd." Slipping the sweater over her head, Paz frowned as it itched a little, but when she inhaled and smelt the familiar Mabel scent of sprinkles and perfume, she relaxed. "So what's in the other boxes?"

"You have to open them, silly!"

Doing just that, Pacifica's smirk melted into a genuine grateful smile, as she saw handmade bracelets with her name on and a hand drawn card, clearly a work that took a lot of time. Mabel gnawed on her lip anxiously as she watched her roommate, begging in her mind that Paz liked them. 

Her fears were proved wrong when the latter looked up at her with a huge smile. "Thank you, Mabel." the blonde said gratefully, slipping the bracelets onto her wrist. 

"You're welcome..!" Mabel returned, mustering the enthusiasm she needed. The blondes manicured hands tapped on the card, and then slowly set it aside, shifting a little closer to the brunette. "What are you-"

Before Mabel could finish her sentence, Pacifica was slipping her hand behind the brunettes head and gently pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. 

When they pulled apart, Mabel's eyes were wide. "You... I... Paz..."

"It doesn't mean anything, okay?!" the blonde snapped, her cheeks flushed red. "I-It was just a thank you. I don't like you in that way."

"Right. Yep."

There was an element of teasing in Mabel's voice, forcing Paz to turn even redder. Thankfully, for Pacifica at least, there was a knock on the door just then, and the blonde was saved by the ability to run up and answer it. 

Standing outside was a uniformed servant, holding a small blue box with a ribbon. He sniffed when he saw her in her pyjamas, but proffered the box haughtily. 

"Miss Northwest, the package you-"

"Ssh! Shut it!" Paz hissed, snatching the box from his hands and slamming the door. Mabel tilted her head curiously, trying to see who it was and what Pacifica had, before the blonde turned around, a smile back on her face. 

"Someone must have sent this to you," she said, handing over the box. "Dont know who it is."

"How do you know it's for me?" Mabel asked, raising an eyebrow. "Theres no label."

"W-who would send me a gift? Just open it."

Mabel giggled, playing the act of confusion as she opened the box, her eyes widening at the contents. Inside was a delicate golden necklace, a single jewelled shooting star hanging from it, just like the one on her favourite sweater. The maker was labeled on the inside of the box and Mabel gasped, recognising the name as her favourite, ultra-expensive jewellery maker. 

"Oh, Paz, I love it!" she exclaimed, clasping the pendant to her chest before fastening it around her neck. Pacifica bit her cheek to stop herself smiling.

"Why are you thanking me?" she snapped, but her slight smile gave her away.

"Oh, right. Thank you, rich anonymous!" she called towards the ceiling, her eyes sparkling. "Whoever got me this must be the sweetest person. Spending so much money on me, if they would just come forward I bet we would be best friends or maybe even more..." She sighed dramatically, glancing sideways at Paz, who was blushing lightly. "But it cant be helped! They must just want to stay anonymous..."

"Yes, thats it. Maybe they're embarrassed." Paz said, who was slowly turning bright red. 

"Mmmh," Mabel agreed, fiddling with the star charm.

There was a moment when Paz thought she had gotten away with it, before she looked up to see Mabel leaping at her. Their lips touched, and before she knew it she was lying on the floor with Mabel on top of her, kissing half-roughly, half-gently. The brunette pulled away and looked at the blonde underneath her, a soft smile crossing her lips. 

"You're a really bad liar," whispered the brunette, pressing a soft kiss to Pacifica's lips and touching their foreheads together, as Paz fumbled for her words, bright red. 

"I... Mabel..."

"And that first kiss totally did mean something," she continued, her lips close to the blondes ear, sending shivers down her spine. 

"It... yeah, it did."

Paz bit her lip, looking up at Mabel, before taking the brunettes face in her hands and lifting herself up to kiss it once again. They lay there for a while, neither of them speaking much, simply kissing each others faces and smiling. Mabel rolled off of Paz, laying by her side instead, and they stared at the ceiling, occasionally kissing each other's cheeks, and holding hands. 

"This is the best Christmas present I've ever had," Pacifica confessed after a little while, referring to her and Mabel kissing. At that, Mabel blushed a little, remembering that Paz must have had hundreds of expensive, impressive gifts, and yet she was the best. 

"I pride myself on being a gift to the world," the brunette grinned, brown eyes warm. "Today I guess I'm a gift to you."

"Just for today?"

"How long would you like?"

"As long as we both still... like each other?"

"That can be arranged."

Pacifica's heart leapt into her mouth. "Really?"

"Sure thing, rich anonymous admirer." And with that, Mabel leaned over and kissed Paz once again, turning them both red. 

"Not anonymous any more, I guess."

"And I'm very glad. It's Christmas, it's not a good time for secrets."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Paz."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was Very Gay™
> 
> and Very Short™
> 
> hopefully the next chapter will come soon and be long im very sorry please dont murder me


End file.
